You'll Never Walk Alone

2009-09-02T13:51:00.000+08:00

http://ynwa10.livejournal.com/

2009-01-22T23:48:00.003+08:00

Just some random stuff about army...

Rush to wait...wait to rush...
In army, the vehicles give way to the pedestrians...
But as always, the true side of a person comes out during the shittiest times (which is yet to come)

2009-01-06T00:28:00.001+08:00

Last few hours. It's down to that.

But not really a big deal...everyone has to go in sometime.

Say goodbye to hair and vanity.
Hopefully not sanity.

2009-01-02T23:42:00.003+08:00

3rd time in Chiangmai (for softball) ...

1st time was a surreal experience, a first for many things...coming overseas without parents, coming overseas with teammates, spending new year without my family (soon to be an awkard habit), playing overseas and even winning the category we entered - novice but still commendable as we were 14 year olds.

2nd time was an enjoyable experience, a farewell trip, a closure for an unforgettable 4 years together. (I still remember how, on the last day, we were like "ZOMG tomorrow we would be in different JCs, meeting new people, missing each other")

3rd time now, personally, I have no idea what this trip is really for...a closure for 6 years in softball? A chance to experience playing in another team? Maybe it's to find out how much I really want to continue playing softball, whether I'm willing to put in the time amidst all the army stuff... let's face it, if all I want to do is to play 3 hours of softball every week, if I'm not going to improve much, let's face it, I might as well not continue. Most importantly, if I'm not going to find joy in softball without the familiar faces (or namely, the two faces) beside me, it's simply not worth it.

By the way so far so good, results-wise, Oboyz (the team I'm playing for) and Catholic High B Div 09 (with yuanhong) are throught to the quarters. The Catholic High cubs have played reasonably well too.

Me is impressed at how some of the B division softabllers have improved, just another testament to the programme in Catholic High.

And..

Army's coming soon, probably A's results too, and decisions for courses, universities or scholarships (if possible)...

But fortunately, I have my ass covered by the L.K.T god. HAHA

2008-12-10T15:42:00.000+08:00

As promised, the two years did pass by in a flash.

"Regrets? I've had a few,
But then again, too few to mention.
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption"

The regret in the two years in JC was probably the initial decision to join VJ in the first place. In choosing VJ, it meant the separation of Catholic High Softballers and as I later went on to find out, the softball programme was simply disappointing. Those not in softball would probably find it hard to understand why we seem so against the sports department and got into trouble but frankly we weren't looking for trouble, we ventured and tried to train harder but instead found trouble lurking. Still, it has to be said that it was an opportunity for those in the programme to make it better but we didn't make full use of the chance; I certainly look back and feel I should have done more for VJ softball but it's too little, too late and it can only remain as a regret

All the complaints I have about VJ softball is really about the programme itself and doesn't extend much further. The people in the team were yet another bunch of people you can hang out with. We turn the most boring of events (VJ sports night) into one that was filled with laughter. We are all ourselves, our true selves when we are together, no need to hide our inner nature or appear to be someone we're not. There's also little/no awkward silence when we're together as a team. Outside trainings, we still have soccer, mahjong, stayovers and stuff. Last friday night on Jastine's birthday dinner, there simply was no telling that we haven't met up for a considerable time. In fact the only thing about not meeting up for some time was that we had more stories to tell. Till the next time we meet as a team...and I bet it would have something to do with free food haha..

The feeling of regret did pass. Partly because nothing can be done about it, partly because life in (other parts of ) VJ wasn't that bad after all.

"When one door closes another door opens;
but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door,
that we do not see the ones which open for us."

When softball no longer remained the core of my school life, other opportunities sprung up. I doubt I would have been close to the class or considered joining council had I been as close to softball as I was in secondary school...heck, I quit prefectorial board in Catholic High as it interfered with softball (it being a waste of a time didn't help its cause either).

In council, how much you get is pretty much how much effort you put in so it wasn't surprising I didn't have a particularly enjoyable experience. I found it boring but it was because I didn't get involved in the events, didn't take on any adhoc positions; so all I did was the mundane stuff. I also felt constantly left out in council but yet again it was simply because I didn't hang out with them. I guess it didn't help that I always felt a little weird when I was with them, like I don't know where the heck they get their energy from haha.

Class life in JC was really different from primary and secondary school...
I find it morbidly funny that after 10 years of primary and secondary school, I didn't have many classmates whom I consider as friends, real friends. I have lost touch with almost all of my primary school classmates, and didn't really spend much time with my classmates in secondary school. In secondary school I mainly hung out with the softballers, be in during recess or even in between lessons and definitely after school. It struck me quite hard when I was talking to a primary school classmate recently and he remarked that it seemed to him, I ignored my primary school classmates when I joined softball.
I'm not saying that I felt left out when I was with the class during lesson time or even after school, in fact each time when we had to go separate ways (after Sec 2 and Sec 4) I felt genuinely sad as I thought we got along pretty well. But it always seemed that after a month or so, the feeling passed and on MSN or even when we happen to pass by, there's nothing more than greetings exchanged.

Maybe it's the smaller class, maybe it's because I actually spent time with the class or maybe it's the people in the class but 07S45 is special. There's fun and laughter, sportingness(although sometimes a little indecisiveness too) and minimal conflict. It's difficult to go out in big groups as more often than not, people do feel left out and tend to stay in their own small little cliques but it wasn't really a big problem in the class outings. After (or even during) exam movies, dinners with our beloved CT, mahjong sessions and stayovers, chalets (pretty much a failure though haha), sentosa, random inter CT games, Malaysia trip, we did have our share of fun and activities that are indeed memorable. But those were the times when we were still a class, now that JC is over and there's no much school to bond us together, we'd just have to let time tell if we will still be able to remain bonded...

2008-08-31T18:12:00.002+08:00

Time for my monthly post:

Global warming started 6501 days ago.

Go figure.

2008-07-26T17:37:00.004+08:00

The Dark Knight...is one fantastic movie nobody should miss. Just to add, I feel that Heath Ledger outshone Christian Bale in this movie and that is saying a lot. I almost forgot there was an actor beneath the make-up...And no, it's not a sympathy vote.
Heck, I really wouldn't mind rewatching it, on a weekday student price deal at least heh. 6 dollars for almost 3 hours, especially if you're watching at a Golden Village cinema with ridiculously long and numerous commercials.

Ah...just really wondering where we'd go on after JC as it is nearing a close. How would it be in Army? How far would I go in softball? And the million dollar question - what should I study in the University?

Law/Actuary/Medicine/Dentistry/Engineer? Or maybe I should just study instead of thinking about all these on this Saturday afternoon.

Why so serious? Let's put a smile on that face!

2008-06-29T14:04:00.004+08:00

The issue that has been bugging me for the past month...

It all started innocently with a trip overseas during which she wouldn't have a need to use the second phone of hers, all she needed was an assurance that the phone would be well taken care of...

And what's so difficult about that?

Or so I thought at that moment. What gives one the power to say something like that? What if the unexpected happens, what if you're just simply not responsible enough to carry out such an elementary task...

So with careless handling, the inevitable happened. I can't say with certainty that I left it at home before I went to Malaysia so I won't say it. But after I came back from the trip, the phone was missing. Either buried deep within the mess in the rooms or I might have dropped it outside or left it somewhere or it might have been taken away...does it really matter? The only thing that stands is that it has been entrusted to me and I've lost it.

So it has gone missing. The period of self-denial followed where I kept searching and even tried to believe it would appear miraculously in my bag one day. There has even been repetitive dreams of those in the weeks after. And, she wasn't due back till a few weeks, the phone would definitely appear before that...

Time flies...

With her touchdown at the airport came clothes, key chains, wallets and many other souvenirs and welcoming her was the news that the phone she left behind has vanished into thin air. I don't even know for sure what happened to the phone, goddammit! Of course, I still entertained the thought that once I searched harder, the phone would emerge from the shambles of my room.

And then one day, I had to tell her. Scratch that. I didn't tell her, she asked about it. It wasn't till that day I realized what a coward I was. With the encouragement from a special someone to just admit and take responsibility for it, I chose instead to believe that I could still find it...even though I knew deep down the phone is probably gone forever. She reacted surprisingly calm to the news, but now I realize that it's because she didn't really believe I lost it and of course because I still tried to convince her (and myself) that the phone was just somewhere in the house...and that I would find it. Yet another empty promise.

Within weeks of asking and not getting the phone, the truth slowly dawned on her. Fury that I only heard of from my mum but not seen brought me to despair.

"What should I do now? How am I going to escape this mess?"

Then the truth really hit me and hit me hard. Why is this about how I would get out of this? Why am I worried about myself? This is not about me and how I can pull myself out of the mess. This is about the person who trusted her phone to be safe in my care but came back only to realize the worst has happened.

In fact the problem isn't really the phone that went missing. Another phone of the same model could be bought, the phone that went missing might even be found a year later but the trust really vanishes with the missing phone. That's the difference with losing something that's yours and something that isn't.

A classic case epitomizing shirking away from responsibility. Not taking care of the phone in the first place...not putting in all to find the phone after losing it, hoping it would appear just as it has vanished...not wanting to confess after losing it for fear of the fury that it would invoke and wanting to distance myself from the mess created instead of trying to correct the problem itself.

Do I know how to do it yet? Maybe not, but I definitely know what I should do and it's not trying to make myself as faultless as possible nor trying to make it seem just a minor problem of a phone merely going missing.

2008-05-01T19:51:00.005+08:00

You'd need high levels of comprehension skills to understand this post. Not because this is high level stuff but merely because my ability to put jumbled up thoughts into a blog post kinda sucks and this is hugely in context...

==========

A working relationship shouldn't be a personal one.

In work, we must separate the person and the actions. We cannot take into consideration the person he is when judging his actions, this would only cloud judgment. Similarly, we cannot let his actions in work affect the relationship you and him have outside work, this would be certainly illogical as it is irrelevant.

But is it the same in a team?

Teammates are supposed to be pillars of support for each other both during and outside a match. Would we be able to trust each other to be our pillar for support outside the match when we don't seem to support each other during the match? Would we be able to be together as friends outside the match if we're not like a team during the match?

Support is differently defined in both situations. During the match, when everyone does their own jobs, we are in fact supporting each other; when we step up our game to make up for any mistakes, we are a real team. To do this, there must obviously be team spirit and not merely a group of individuals. But that is not all. More often than not, we do want to support each other, we do want to do it for the team, but we end up not doing so. It is not our desire that is lacking but it is the composure, experience and skills. We do want to support each other in fielding and batting but we still end up making fielding errors or bat lousy balls. And again, it is not because we don't want to do so.

And if you don't get my point (I wouldn't blame you, I don't seem to get myself actually), I just feel we cannot take what happened in the field to outside the field. Whatever happened in the field stays there. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying we should forget it. We should remember it, and correct it, but IN the field. Do not let what happened during matches affect how we get along with each other outside the match.

For how the match against ACS went, just go see this post, it pretty much sums up everything. How we threw it all away. How there is nothing to feel sad about. How we deserved what we got.

Just to add on, I didn't feel sad and "I didn't shed a single tear". I only felt bad. Bad because we didn't support the pitcher during the match. Bad because after nearly 6 years of captaining a team in softball, I myself didn't have the experience or composure for this match. (who the **** lobs the ball 3 times in a match?) Bad because I didn't seem to learn a single thing about leading the team without my previous coach/teacher/mentor around. Bad because I let a teammate (in fact actually he's more than a teammate) down.

It IS over. Accept it. Tell yourself something else and you're kidding yourself. The season for us is as good as over. There is simply no pride of being 3rd over 4th.
So what's left? Our own pride? Not really... Enjoying the game? Maybe... What's really left for us is a battle within ourselves and we should take this two upcoming games to overcome ourselves as these two games we've played clearly proved that we are our own greatest enemy and fear. We must not let ourselves down.

I didn't know where to fit these in, so here it goes...
You can only honestly say you put in your best in a match if you really put in your best during the match AND THE TRAININGS BEFORE THAT. Go figure.
And no single person is to blame for the loss. Even if a person made the most basic of errors that caused the winning run or failed to do the simplest thing in batting that failed to bring in the winning run or...(you get my point) the team wins together, loses together. Blaming yourself for the lost is as bad as attributing solely yourself for a team's victory. Blaming a single person or even a group of people for the lost is just so-not-team-ish. (pardon my English)

==========

Thanks for all those who tried to lift my spirits after the match. I'm sincerely sorry if I offended you all when I didn't cheer up or even acknowledge your good intentions.

And of course, thanks to all (classmates, parents, red shirts, victorians and teachers) who came down to support our team's matches, sorry that we didn't give you all a good game.

2008-04-28T00:35:00.003+08:00

It does take maturity and experience to fully understand both sides of sports, the cruelty and the beauty. It's often difficult to feel the beauty of sports when you lose or the cruelty of sports when you win. But sports is like that - there is only room for one team to win. That team doesn't have to be the team that played better, or trained harder. That team just has to score more than the other team.

But I have to state clearly, I do not feel that the better team lost or we deserved to win, not that it matters in sports. For the record, I felt they played better. We could have won, we blew it but give credit to them, they did earn their win.

Every defeat is an opportunity to learn. In fact, it forces you to learn from it as if you don't, you wouldn't improve and would only lose again. But the real good players and teams also must be able to learn from victories. But sports is such that even if you improve, you might not win the next time. And we should not be discouraged and not try to improve just due to the fear of still failing even after trying. That's just...cowardly.

So let's learn from it, let's not throw away the game at the last moment, let's not give up till the match's over, and let's definitely not give up till the season's over.

Because only when we can honestly tell ourselves we've tried our best and given our all, then can we say we've been true to ourselves. And this is true regardless of the result.

And if you win, or lose, always remember, life goes on...

2008-04-10T00:07:00.004+08:00

Today felt like a real holiday.

Started with a nap from 10p.m till 11 plus p.m, lazed in bed and chatted till 3 a.m, watched the Liverpool vs Arsenal Champions League match, which Liverpool won, slept till 11.30a.m, read many different articles about the same thing - Champions League match, then went to Kallang to train, ate Subway and came back home again. Slacked till now, trying to study for h3 Chem but not really bothered that I'm not very focussed in studying. And listening to the therapeutic Dream Theatre. This is how life should be. Bliss.

But it is dangerous to remember this day too often as it would lead to comparison and hence dissatisfaction. It would be smarter to treasure the moment and use it to rejuvenate yourself for the days later..
Reality starts to sink back in - not everyday can be this good. And if it's this good everyday, you have to start worrying as the days that come after these might not be that good. Hah. Just like how I would have to worry about the test on Saturday. I better prepare more in the next 2 days...

When joy is shared, it is doubled, when sorrow is shared, it is halved. I think.

2008-03-23T14:13:00.003+08:00

Singapore Recreational Club (SRC) Schools Softball Carnival 2008.

As the word "carnival" implies, it isn't the real thing, it's more for experience and enjoying the game. Still, in sports, there isn't really such thing as a friendly, and more often than not, whatever the line-up of the team is, however "worthless" the match seems, every team would still try to go for the win, thus making it competitive and that is, I feel, a beauty of sports.

This year was one of the better SRC tournaments I've participated in. Although it was marred by rain and delays (1st time in 6 years), the matches themselves taught the team (and me) many lessons, pointed out many ways we could improve in, allowed us to apply what we've learned in trainings and ultimately allowed us to enjoy the game.

And the touchy subject of whether the result is the only thing that matters was brought up once again in the tournament. It's not as if it should be a "sportsmanship" vs "results" debate. There is often not much link between the two, it's not as if having sportsmanship would hinder your bid to success. Granted, a player might unintentionally injure an opponent with an unnecessary slide probably due to the heightened atmosphere in the game. But what really disturbed me was that that player wasn't just oblivious to the fact he had taken out an opponent from the game, he continued to give high fives with the team and celebrated his act. If it was unintentional, at least check on your opponent and offer an apology. Respect, my friend, respect. Because, shockingly to you perhaps, but winning is really not the only thing that matters.

(A little ironic for this to be here, but congrats to the winners of the SRC A division category, Hwa Chong guys and VJ girls)

So now, we move on to the Nationals competition which is, I daresay, the more important one. Still, results isn't the only thing that matters and would not be the only thing we would judge the success of our competition by. More importantly, we must try our best in the trainings and apply what we've learned in the games we play and should we eventually fail, there is nothing to be ashamed about. Similarly, if we won the competition but didn't perform to our best there is nothing to be proud of.

(Ah. I could go to on with one whole new post about the importance of results... Or wait, I've already done one before, here)

==========

A trying term ahead for me with softball nationals, council and h3 exams coming up. But no excuses from me for any of the three.

2008-03-15T22:06:00.004+08:00

Mas Selamat (running out of things to blog about, haha)

It's a little shocking to see how the escape of a terrorist caused so much chaos to the normally orderly Singapore. Of course the rationale for all these hassle and effort put into recapturing him is indisputable with his record and influence in the JI. But that is not the point here I'm trying to put across here.

Mainly it's rather obvious that the government and the press (don't even know if I should use "and" as they seem pretty interlinked, maybe "through" is a better word to use) are downplaying quite a lot of things and not being totally transparent?

They make it seem as if it was really a rare security glitch that Mas Selamat so happen found out and made use of that opportunity to escape. Thus he is without extra clothing, little help from outside and has to camp in jungles, steal food and clothes. It's probably more likely that he has noticed this security glitch for quite some time and planned about it and would escape and make a quick getaway.

Which brings me to my next point, why was the public only notified 4 hours after he actually escaped? If I recall, the reason given by the relevant authorities was that they wanted to make sure that he really escaped and that it wasn't a false alarm. Another reason cited was that they didn't want the public to panic?

Firstly, 4 hours is really a long time to make sure that Mas Selamat has escaped. Secondly, if after an hour (which is pretty long already) shouldn't they just inform the public already? Or are they still hoping that he's still in the detention center and they wouldn't be humiliated; or are afraid that after reporting he is missing, he is actually still inside the detention center? The fact is if they can't find him after an hour, he is not securely secured in the detention center anymore.

Who knows? Maybe in that 4 hours, many people have seen him but it didn't occur to them that he was an escaped and supremely dangerous to the public convict. Maybe in that 4 hours, he has already made a quick getaway. There was an article in the papers on Friday on how a lady thought she saw Mas Selamat but only realized it could be him after seeing the news and the picture of him a day or so later. It's only logical that Mas Selamat would more likely be found right after the escape as he wouldn't be able to travel far and more importantly, there's lesser chance that he would have left the country.

Normally in an article reporting a armed robbery attempt, what the suspect is wearing is included in the description. Once again, the authorities didn't disclose this information because they didn't want the public to focus on this detail. Then again, releasing this information a few days after wouldn't be much use as he would have changed out of it already, no?

The consequences of this escape is quite far-reaching. Mas Selamat doesn't even have to plan a successful attack on Singapore or the region. Singapore, where security breaches are never heard of, has suffered a damaging and irrecoverable blow to her reputation. Take note that Singapore did not capture Mas Selamat in the first place, it was handed over to her by the Java police if i am not mistaken. Would our neighbouring countries trust us enough to hand over their convicts now?

On a lighter note, there are also some rather unexpected and unfortunate consequences for other people. It's even been quite funny. Like how illegal cigarette peddlers or illegal immigrants camping in the jungles or whatever rural part of Singapore who were caught due to the extensive search are probably cursing Mas Selamat. Like how those who travel to JB frequently, especially the suppliers that need to travel across the causeway have to face extra hours for security checks.

The press, Minister Mentor Lee Kuan Yew once said, wasn't controlled by the government in any way by the law. Of course what he said is technically right (how could he be wrong?) but obviously that is not happening in reality. The press is really downplaying a lot of things already and who knows what they haven't reported? Instead they are reporting things like probable sightings of Mas Selamat or "Expert says that Mas Selamat is most likely still in Singapore", all just to convince Singaporeans that he is still here. ( K.T.Y.T - Keep telling yourself that)

Obviously it's human to err. A glitch is a glitch. The guard letting him escape made an error. The system had an error which allowed a convict to escape. It's a mistake but not one which is unforgivable. We'd learn from it, take this as a lesson and erase any complacency there might be in our security here in Singapore.

And, we try our best to recapture him, not just by pasting posters everywhere, not by mms-ing his picture to every phone user but to have been more transparent. Especially telling the public immediately/or as soon as possible that a convict has escaped. This failure in disclosing vital information to the public only compounds the mistake earlier made.

But the mistakes have been made and there is no reversing that. We should still keep a vigilant eye for Mas Selamat. The public do play a crucial role in recapturing Mas Selamat.

But only if the press/government's failure to let us know about his escape earlier didn't already cost us the chance to recapture him.

Just my humble view on what happened so far.

2008-01-27T01:13:00.000+08:00

Orientation 2008 - A hindsight

I waited till a few weeks after orientation to post about it as I didn't want it to be a post reacting to the hyped up mood of orientation, claiming it to be the best orientation I've had when it might not be.

Now, I can safely say this is the orientation in VJ that I'm going to remember.

This just goes to show that sometimes, doing things you do not like to do, stepping out of your usual comfort zone can be rewarding. I didn't really want to be an OGL, knowing that I would not take part in orientation fully, that I would not be the rah-rah kind and that basically, I don't really fancy the hyped up mood of orientation. But this orientation ended up as the orientation I'd remember best.

And it's because of my orientation group Igor or rather sub-group Iden. The freshmen and OGLs are really lively and sporting and fun to hang out with. We don't really need to have an agenda or event or something to do to be with each other. It's like we just need to find a place to sit down and talk to each other. It's been the case at the lunches/dinners we've had, the barbeque at ECP which led to us being at Tampines bus interchange, yesterday at Espanade and the stayover at Sabrina's house and probably more that I've unfortunately missed.

It's a well balanced group with lively people, pragmatic people, witty people keeping the group interesting and the time's we've spent memorable. The best thing - everyone can be themselves within the group, no need to be someone we're not just to fit in with the group.

And of course, another good thing is that we would continuously meet up (:
==========

Otherwise, 2008 has been pretty much the same as 2007. Lessons are significant shorter without Chinese and Project Work and our timetable is once again a good one, all days end by 2.30p.m. Although some days have to be carried on with H3 lessons. The normal lessons as usual, aren't that boring with the class people.

VJ's A Division softball season is coming. It's not that we need to train more times each week. 3 times a week is sufficient if everyone not only comes but puts in all their efforts to improve and change. It's just another month or two before season starts and only 4 months before season ends. It's time for full throttle ahead.

And in about that time ( 4 months later when A division season ends) or slightly earlier would be the investiture of the 25th student's council. And the stepping down of the 24th student's council. Ah. I've reflected about it already.

So that's all for 2008 so far I guess.

2008-01-06T22:17:00.000+08:00

Didn't blog about Hong Kong, didn't blog about Christmas or New Year celebrations (or my non-existent New Year resolutions), didn't blog about the surprisingly-fun-orientation, didn't blog about Grandpa's 70th birthday in KL which brought relatives from New Zealand and Hong Kong to the region.

Oh yes. I've just blogged about them.

Till the next time I update.

2007-12-10T23:37:00.000+08:00

Holidays holidays...

Going to Hong Kong till the 15th.

2007-11-18T22:31:00.000+08:00

It's times like these you want something to do, somewhere to go, something to look forward to... Just staying at home and rotting isn't that good a feeling. It's an indulgence but you don't feel good for long. You're contended, yes, but you don't feel good.

There used to be trainings to look forward to but it kinda sucks when for every training session without fail, you can only last for an hour at the most, half an hour if you push too hard. And the motivation for training is somehow not there. You can't even train properly, not say to improve. You don't even know what you're aiming for in trainings and it seems more like a chore than anything. There is no vision... And there are so many barriers for everyone to just to be able to train.

And everything is mostly my fault. I could find a job or at least tidy up my super messy room and at least I'd feel satisfied. Instead, I'm just watching serials after serials, movies after movies and even (omg) animes and feeling wasted.

Even for the training side, I should see a doctor. People tell me that. I know that myself. But I just tell myself one day it would magically disappear. Or after many days of rest it would heal. Okay, let me make an appointment by this coming saturday. Or maybe not.
And I'm not fulfilling my role well. I don't go the extra mile to make sure we go towards something. I didn't have to in the past but it seems that I obviously must do so now.

My life without softball is rather pathetic.

2007-11-07T01:31:00.000+08:00

Forgive my ramblings...

And so, the AO level Chinese and the A level Project Work has finally drawn to a close. Let the holidays begin.

Sadly, there wouldn't be any overseas trip with the softball team, was something we could all look forward to at the end of every year but this year was not to be.

There are commitments everyone needs to fulfill. You know you committed the day you signed the form, so you, even more than any other member, jolly well show it now.

And sometimes I wonder if it's worth the sacrifice.

2007-10-17T00:57:00.000+08:00

One post was laced with sarcasm and humour while the other was a more direct and "in your face" type of post. Still they all mean the same thing. Just like how my post would also mean the same thing. And it is not because we are so similar in nature that we'd think alike, it is the training and character development we underwent in our one and only alma mater that we echo this view.

The main point is, don't you dare insult or even think bad of the organization we're from. And in your opinion, why is it we deserve this label from you? Rude body language. Oh please... And your theory of long hair equals a lack of integrity and character is rather flawed. And of course, don't fucking accuse us that we think we're skilled and indispensable softball players and thus think that character is not important.

Character, Discipline, then Championship. Don't think we don't know it. We (no credit to us) probably know it better than you.

And this unavoidably brings us to your sidekick. Sidekick implies that he has a say in things though. Which he probably has, but prefers not to use it for fear of the consequences it might bring. You are just like a puppet and him your master, pulling the strings and you acting according to his will. Who can blame you though? Resisting those strings would probably unmask the seemingly unnoticeable fact that you're not really suited to the job. So who's worse, the master or the puppet? Well, at least the master is rather honest about being a bastard ; the puppet tries to appear to be helpful, kind, friendly, approachable....and shockingly, people do believe this facade of his.

Sigh. And it makes me wonder if we've come to the right place. Thankfully I am not alone, I still have my two very good friends here with me. And of course the rest of the teammates I met, made possible by coming here.

2007-10-04T22:27:00.000+08:00

It's been rather nice this few days, being able to slack around and do whatever you wish. But reality sinks back in after a while.

There's still PW, there's still AO Chinese Exam on 29th October.

Life goes on.

2007-09-29T22:06:00.000+08:00

Over, over, it's all over.

(Cues irrational screams and shouts of joy)

The temporary liberation from the guilt of not studying is welcoming, together with the fact that training can now commence. Had softball training in Catholic High for the first time in a long, long time and it just felt good throwing and batting machine balls. Or maybe it's not just the training but the people whom you train with. Jing Cheng and Yuanhong came over to my house and after playing only 9 games of Winning 11 after reseting about 100 times, we decided to watch "Hannibal" and I obviously slept at the couch.

End of promotional exams like so many other things are overrated. It is not as if you've been studying very hard for it anyway. And after promos, you'd feel a little lost for a while, but that should soon change. For the better or for the worst? It's for you to decide and make it so.

==========
Yesterday after promos, our class went to watch Ratatouillee. Surprisingly, still funny and captivating even though I watched it once before. Fortunately, there weren't many others besides our class watching the movie and we made ourselves truly at home, taking seat(s) for ourselves and laughing our hearts out.

The time after the movie to the dinner at Fish n Co was simply better spent at home sleeping, preparing for the night ahead. Haha. Wandered aimlessly around town, drifting into and out of shops with no intention of even looking at the items. So split up with the girls and went to watch a looped and soundless series of trailers at the Sony TVs at Wisma.

The dinner was meant to be a class outing and a treat for our civic tutor Miss Meta for really leaping out of her job scope and treating (no pun intended) us so well, like paying for our class chalet, constantly staying back to help students in need. And it was pretty much a success with both many people turning up and having a good time there. Of course, our kind Civics tutor would not have let us pay for the meal without trying otherwise but fortunately we manage to pay for it in the end.

I shared a seafood platter for two with Zhicao who didn't eat ~~Muscles~~ *mussels* and I generously offered to eat them for him. Haha. The live band also helped us to dedicate a song to Miss Meta as the lovely teacher of 07S45 with a Dido song, i think. Zhan Liang, expectedly ordered an extra item to eat. It was a nice dinner with the class where almost everyone could make it, making it lively. Birthday songs were being spammed in Fish n Co and we decided, why not let ourselves have that fun as well? So Faizah was to be the birthday girl that day. But I was somehow dragged into it as well and made to wear a ~~rather cute~~ dolphin hat and carry a sparkler. It all ended well as we went out to take peektures.

After that, most of the guys went to Ian's house to stayover. Watched the drama-rama WWE and ridiculed it before Zhan Liang came and we started to play mahjong and Wii and Gamecube later on. Lasted till around 4 or 5a.m before I caught a short nap to 7 before climbing out of Ian's house, the gate was locked, to go for training at Catholic high. And big thanks to Ian's hospitable parents for letting us stay at their house and probably robbing them of their sleep with our noise.

And it was a good day after the promotional exams. A good day indeed.

==========
Sometimes, people don't show it when it hurts. And often, we would conveniently interpret the lack of signs as "it doesn't hurt". And when one thing compounds over another for anyone, a person can crack.
We should take this as a lesson.

2007-09-10T16:22:00.000+08:00

Respect is to be earned, dammit!

You don't come into class one period late without explaining your reason (if you even have one) and then expect a student to explain his/her reason when late. Neither should you whine about the class being late on the rare occasions you're punctual.

And that's just one part. You also don't claim stress/tiredness/PMS and thus not teach or show videos that are irrelevant. Okay, they might be relevant. But at least explain the video and how it would help us/what we're suppose to learn.

It seems like you are just trying to pass time and waiting for the bell to ringevery lesson. And the worst thing is, your lessons can be interesting. So it's not like you can't teach but rather it seems like you're unwilling to.

In your case, it's not even that respect needs to be earned. As a teacher, you already have some respect from students but you've lost it. You might be friendly and easy to approach but you're not the most responsible teacher. So don't expect us to be listening to you all the time and do whatever you ask us to do because you don't really do what you are supposed to do either.

Or maybe it's because you pale in comparison to the other better teachers, so thankfully not all teachers are like that.

2007-09-05T12:30:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday Brother (3rd September)

You treat me like a younger brother, buying (and paying) the things I want and yet you don't really treat me as a younger brother. We play games together, share with each other our problems and happy moments and also share the gifts we get (well it's mostly you sharing the gifts with me). It's nice to have someone who is of the same frequency and you are one of them. It's like we're really brothers, not just because we're related, but also because we can and do enjoy spending time together. Just that you're the better brother who buys and shares with me.

Although you do not get fantastic grades, you've always worked hard for what you get and at the same time know how to enjoy life - learning to be a lifeguard, playing classical guitar. Through your actions, you've taught me to be more patient and kind and also to be a better child.

We were always bickering and fighting when we were younger, what any two young boys together would do but unlike some, we grew out of it and became friends. Still, you always looked out for me and made sure I'd grow up happily and safely, avoiding some of the mistakes you made, taking time to help me with my studies when I needed it.

We played soccer at the void deck together, played computer games like Championship Manager and Sims and often got into trouble with Mum for playing too much, went on holidays as a family and of course, supported Liverpool FC together.

I'm just so glad you're my brother.

Happy 20th Birthday.

2007-07-29T23:27:00.000+08:00

Finally filed all my stuff. Yes Ah!

On the other hand, I still haven't done my EOM and Zuo Wen.
Life's like that.

2007-07-15T22:45:00.000+08:00

Today's morning match was the worst I played, never felt so helpless on the diamond. Time for some self-reflecting. Time for a wake-up call. Making costly errors causing us to blow the lead and when the team managed to fight back, I could not make up for the errors and had a huge strikeout.

Wake up. Wake up. There were so many reasons for today's (lack of) performance. A deliberate decision to sleep less, not warming up properly and mentally so unprepared and relaxed for the game. Not being able to recover from an error, not being able to "shake it off".

It happened, it cost us the game. But more importantly will it happen again? And what would I do to prevent it? No use typing here that I will do this and that to prevent this again. It might happen the next game and all these reflecting would be useless.

Training harder is a separate issue. This was more of not being prepared enough. I would like to think that should I be prepared properly, I would able to stop all these balls and hit the pitches. Being prepared... Training regularly, resting adequately and warming up properly with the right mindset.

==========

That was not performing to my standard, raising my standard of softball is another issue. Playing in mens leagues and open tournaments are inspiring. Inspiring to see how high the level of softball can be. Appreciate softball at a higher level. And make you wonder if you can get that far in softball.

This year the combined school weren't as imba as last year, the standard of NUS open also was raised a little higher. I had more chances to play but didn't take full use of the chances. Frankly I was shagged even before the tournament though I doubt it was the main reason. It was more not performing than under performing. Maybe the gulf in standard is too wide to be breached.

They smoke, not drink red bull, before matches.
The replenish their salts with beer, not isotonic drinks.
But they play such nice softball.
Yet they obviously do not use the cigarettes and beers to play.

2007-07-10T21:35:00.000+08:00

Time is so relative.

The holidays were 30 days and yet it seemed so short.

Today, I had nothing to do after school, no training, absolutely nothing to do. Physics lecture on wave motion was boring, so left the lecture half-way and went with a few classmates to eat at parkway at LJS. Walked in parkway looking for sports shoes, bought PVC glue. Came back to school with so much time to spare. Never thought of going home so early. Watched some intra-house soccer, supported Hai Wei for gym, and walked around school. And time passed so slowly. Nothing to do at all...

==========

Read through old blog posts. Relieved significant moments that I blogged about in the last two years. That's what blogging is for. Or that's why I blog for.

Wait wait wait, later too late.

2007-07-02T23:42:00.000+08:00

The three day Council Workshop

I was pretty displeased with the timing of the workshop as it was right after the mid-years and had a plan or two during those days. Also, it couldn't be a stay over camp and had to travel to and fro to VJ for each of the three days.

But clearly, the workshop was enriching personally as well as for the council. Other training workshops for leaders I attended previously were rather superficial, going over the basic but important stuff like having initiative, leading by example, etc but this workshop brought us to a higher level. A higher level, such as stepping up/down, empowering others, being honest, being open, balancing task and relationship. How we should strive as if results are the most important but at the same time know that results do not really matter. This was rather controversial and not fully understood.

This workshop also allowed me to review how I tend to lead others and honest feedback from my group was the reason why I could acknowledge my flaws and improve. Consciously, I tried to change that and it worked well in the camp. However, it would all come to naught if I don't apply it outside.

Improving as leaders was only one half of our team goal for this camp. The other goal was to know each other in a deeper level. This goal was achieved as well. We had the sense of belonging with the council, similar to during elects camp. This also brought us to share how we wanted to revert back to those days, being committed and having fun.

So, I left the camp improved, feeling better being in council, knowing more people and with two big blisters on my hands due to tug-of-war. Haha.

Transformers Own!
Don't mess with the best 'cause the best don't mess!
Don't fool with the cool 'cause the cool don't fool!
Don't mess!
Don't fool!
Transformers: Leaders in disguise...

2007-06-28T21:17:00.000+08:00

Time for the monthly update. Blogging's such a chore these days.

June Holidays have been touch and go stuff - training for men's league, rotting at home playing mvp and studying (a little) for MYEs. And that's all I did with the 30 days of holidays. So unproductive, just what holidays are like. Maybe we shouldn't have holidays.
Ok fine, I retract that.

The Mid-years so strategically placed after holidays has all but ended. The papers were all of average standard and do-able imo. Going back to Catholic High to study after every paper was not the most productive but it was enjoyable. Fortunately I studied enough for the subjects in holidays to be able to relax the day before, with the obvious exception of economics.

So now, after mid-years life should be a little easier. It should. Softball trainings in VJ would start again, A levels Chinese Listening and Oral are coming up, Open-House preparation would step up, Council Day Camps this friday to sunday, men's league, NUS-NTU open and the oh-so-enjoyable PW.

==========

But I'm not complaining, I'm alive at least...

Rest In peace, Thaddeus.

We received the grave news midway through our first men's league match against OBoyz which we lost 7-3.

==========

This looks kinda out of place but Happy 17th Birthday Yuan Hong.

2007-06-01T00:38:00.000+08:00

So, the holidays have begun.

First semester of JC has passed and it's already a quarter of the two years in JC. Met and said goodbye to new softball teammates, played in A division for the first time, getting into a proper leadership body, being in a new class, having to take H1 chinese (thankfully it's more than half done) in 6 months. And the long awaited holidays have arrived.

Yay! Or maybe not.

I shan't go and say holidays are so packed and busy that I rather have school because that isn't true. It's just that holidays aren't exactly holidays and sometimes it's over rated. Especially if you have midyears on the first day you come back from holidays. But at least I can wake up later than 6a.m every morning and don't have to make one hour long trips to and fro to VJ everyday and I can train with Catholic High more often now.

The holiday so far has been good in the slack sense. Had class chalet for the first three days and trained full day on Wednesday. Slacked the whole day today. Better start some mugging soon. Sigh.

==========

Class Chalet 28-30 May

First and most importantly, thank you Miss Meta, our beloved CT tutor for sponsoring the Class Chalet and rental of BBQ pit. ZOMG. That's so generous of you. Thanks for popping by and playing gamecube with us also.
I had combined school trials (which I didn't realise I didn't have to go) so I came only at night. Thankfully, the BBQ wasn't finished and I helped to clear alot of food. My pleasure. Haha. Went to play pool and paid 3 dollars for 2 hours. Played 9 ball pool for the first time and it's really fun.

Couldn't get enough of pool so played one more hour the next morning then went to escape. Only the second time there and go-kart was fun, though the queue for it was rather long. On the second go-kart, I crashed near the end-point while trying to catch up with Faizah. The person working there had to pull me back. Damn. Then, Viking Ship, Inverter (ZOMG!), Wild wild wet, and kiddy rides that you would only ride when you're with your class. Hahaha. Went back to chalet for more game cubing.

Sadly, by then most people had to leave the chalet. So some of us went to watch Pirates. It was pretty complicated from the start and it was a late night movie and I was tired. And it was the cheapest (seven dollars). Okay, I fell asleep. Hahaha. Took a cab back to chalet, played cards with those who were left and slept with a bed to myself. Woke up the next morning and rushed to Catholic High for full-day training.

2007-05-17T23:55:00.000+08:00

VJ Softball Boys 07

So the season has come to an end... A rather short season of 5 months where we trained together and forged bonds. That's what sports give you - a team where you have to bond with everyone and learn to trust your teammates and eventually will. It has been actioned-packed and 5 months is way too short. Sadly that would be the last time we would play together, train together as VJ Softball Boys 07.

I really have to commend those who just started softball in JC. Picking up a sport alien to you in JC is certainly not easy. Many try hockey, volleyball, floorball, etc but while each sport is as difficult to master, I feel softball is the most difficult to learn how to play. Still, with a mere 8 months of training (similar to sec 1's training time) you all managed to compete in the A division competition. Some managed to make it into the team while others went a step further and fought their way into the softball diamond.

While the results this season weren't exactly ideal, what's more important is that we still keep in contact and stay together as a team. There are bound to be some minor rifts or misunderstandings among one another but let's not let it carry on. Solve it if it can be solved. As years go by, you would remember the people you've met in the team, not the results or the position/rank the team got.

Today was the team dinner, probably the last time everyone of us (sadly Xia Han couldn't make it today) would be together. We ate our fill, chit-chatted, sang songs and cam-whored again. We celebrated birthdays and said 'thank you' to our coaches (sadly Coach Albert couldn't come either). VJ Softball 07, together for the last time...

Just some 'special' mentions to the seniors.
David: Even though you didn't make it to the team, you still willingly helped us in our trainings, helped us keep equipment and even scored for us. Fellow Gong Jiao guy, though I don't think I knew you before JC. haha
Daniel: That @#$%er who always want to taupok me. Hahahha. Showed everyone what a mere 8 months of training can do with hard work. Your cynicism is rather funny at times too.
James: Imba drummer. Managed to see you (and only you) during music fest through the back stage. And of course, thanks for letting me kope your food and continue that gracious act. =D
Krishnan: Someone who is a zai kia for getting 4A's but no H3. haha. Sporting to racists jokes (against him) too.
Park: SKW! Does so much, too much IMO, and also makes us laugh with his profanities and rather clumsy actions. And he's so very kind to treat me stuff. Hahahah
Qi Chao: Also from catholic high and I think I remember seeing him around in school last time. Napha zai sial.
Xia Han: House captain of Lynx! But he's balanced, can both joke and be serious. Face of the year finalist.
Ying Hao: The Joker of the Team who never fails to crack us up with his I-don't-care-what others-view-me gene. Self-depreciate to self-declared new fashions to prank messages. We just laugh at everyone of them.
Yonathan: SC and Softball senior. Although keep on telling me that I'm slack. Walaos.
Yong Kiat: Captain? I only got it on my 3rd try. hahahaha. Friendly for his size and thank goodness he doesn't use his imba strength on others that often. Remember Krishnan above the bin? haha

Thanks for the season I've had. It has been surreal (although very short) and keep in contact even though you all seem to want to taupok me everytime you see me. Hahahha.

2007-04-27T11:18:00.000+08:00

Don't really have much time to blog nowadays so I'm blogging in school and the stupid "spacebar" key sucks.

Two games played, Vj won both. We were still relying on the other teams not to excel and fulfill their potential, rather than us playing our best.

Next game, RJ which would be in 3 hours time. If we lose the game, we would more or less be out for the championship. But is winning important? And are we saying that winning isn't important because we may not win?

Nah. The main thing in games is to enjoy and do the school and the team proud. And to do these, the only way is to play well, not to win. Winning would not guarantee you enjoying the game. Who likes it when the only reason you win the game is because the other team screwed up more badly than you? For those people who thinks winning is the only thing that matter, think again.

The match is not just decided on how good you have trained, it also depends on your preparation of the game and how you actually play the game. Let's all play well and the result will come. And let's eliminate fear from our dictionary for the game.

Vj, all the way.

2007-04-18T01:38:00.000+08:00

Good luck Catholic High B Div 07 for tomorrow's / today's match against ACS(I)

2007-04-14T20:48:00.001+08:00

Upon reflection, I know what I did yesterday was wrong.

I let the situation control me and did not resist, even though I knew what I was going to do was wrong. I abused what was given to me and I'm ashamed. At that moment, it seemed like a fun thing to do. It might have been all right for the rest to do it but I'm not just a student. I feel so guilty.

Today, I missed yet another council activity. I had to make a choice and still do not know if it was the right one. The Catholic High Softball semi-finals or the banner painting. Coincidently, it was a hypothetical situation the senior councilors created for me during the interview. Either way, I would disappoint one side. I claimed I was sick, hoping it would cover up the fact I'm choosing softball over council. I'm sorry Dhilshad, I shouldn't have lied.

I could sense the disappointment in their looks, the voice. And it's justified.

==========

And this wouldn't be the last time. There would come another time when I have to choose between softball and council and I would disappoint one side again. I am not enjoying this. But I would have to reiterate, during the softball season, I only have one priority: Softball. So, as much as I don't like it, I would choose softball over council again.

Maybe I thought too highly of myself, thinking I could juggle both CCA's. Or maybe, it would turn out fine eventually when the softball season is over. I don't know. All I know, I'm not enjoying this one moment.

2007-04-13T01:07:00.000+08:00

Can't seem to sleep at the moment, so might as well blog.

Yesterday was the match against HCI, the final score was 11-6 in favour of VJ. But more often than not, the scoreline fails to tell the whole story. It was closer, much closer than that.

It did seem to start well, both for team and the myself. Unfortunately, I could not capitalize on the good start. It seemed to distract me a little and I momentarily forgot that I was still in a very, very tight game. As a result, I made an error in fielding, which lead to a run, maybe more. So much for getting the first run, I just threw it back at them. By the time the first inning was over, we were down 1-5. I knew, however, it was only 1/5 of the match, there's still time to catch up.

A scoreless inning for both sides and it was our turn to bat again. Bases was loaded and Yuan Hong hit a nice drive to the outfield and received a bonus from HCI when the center fielder made an unfortunate error, leading to the tie of the game at five all.

A single homer at the bottom of the fourth gave HCI the lead again. Fifth inning, top. We were trailing by a run and we had to score run(s) to have any chance of taking the game. 3,4,5 batters got on base to make it a bases loaded situation. Yuan Hong grounded out while Daniel did not get safe either. It was 2 down, last inning. Should the next batter get caught out without scoring any runs, the game would be over and the fightback would be all but wasted. The situation some batters dread, while other batters play the game for.

Park showed great patience and walked, the tying run scored. Qi Chao got a walk, while I had a single, Haiwei another walk and Harng Yi hit towards to shortstop, whom I really could not avoid in time. Yong Kiat got hit by pitch again while Jing Cheng got a standing K, ending the inning.

Good hold in the last inning where the pitches were good and thus the fielding easy.

==========

The last pitch/hit of the game which seals the game always gives you that exhilaration nothing else can. However, let's not let it overwhelm us. Let's come back to earth, it has only been one game. There are 4 equally as grueling ties ahead. It is but one game.

One down, four more to go.

==========

Went blog-hopping and read some interesting stuff. Some personal thoughts.

Ideally a team would gel together and the playing of the game itself with these beloved teammates of yours is rewarding and winning would be an incentive. That's ideal. However, such a team doesn't form overnight, does not form within months, might take years, and might never form if you don't have the right people in the team and the right person to lead the team. So all I think we can ask for is to have fun playing the game and have the common goal: To play well and winning will be the by-product.

Constructive criticism is good for the person. Whether the person accepts it or not is up to him/her. I was surprised to see my name when I was reading somebody's blog. Haha. I agree and I guess I better change.

2007-04-09T21:31:00.000+08:00

So...this thing has been going around and here it is.

6 weird things about me.

1) I go for movies before my mid year / final year exam ends (because my paper always ends after most normal people) no thanks to Chinese and Biology. And guess what my results were =D

2) I eat McVitie's Digestive biscuit by the containers every two or three days. They own Jack n Jill, Lays, Ruffles, Mr Potato....

3) I used to count the money (right down to the single cent, when 1 cent coins were still around) I had in my cash box when I was young as I was afraid my brother would steal from me, even though I had the only key to the cashbox.

4) I chionged 20+ episodes of prison break in 2 days, just like i chionged a few seasons of southpark in a few days.

5) I spend an hour a day in the Liverpool Official Website forums. And I don't consider that a waste of time. On the contrary, I feel making your bed after you wake up is a waste of time as you are going to sleep again in hours.

6) I like most vegetables and fruits. But I can't stand bananas. I don't think that's weird but many people tell me it is.

I want to see Jing Cheng do it. Then maybe the quiz should be renamed 6 normal stuff about me. =D

2007-04-03T22:41:00.000+08:00

Season's approaching, first match is in a week. There is so much to be done, jerseys for example, haven't arrived. But let's not dwell on the negatives. Obviously we are not that good as some people like to think we are but we aren't that bad either. It is ultimately how we perform on the day of the match itself. The teams in A Division Softball are all about the same standard, on a good day you'll beat any team, on a bad day you can lose to any team.

In 2003's SRC, we viewed the A Division Softball matches with apprehension or rather, disbelief. Would we ever get to reach that standard? They seemed to hit the ball so damn far, throw so damn fast. But now, it seems like A division softball isn't that high a standard. Is it due to the standard of softball falling or because we have progressed? Still we know, we are still no where near from mastering the game. Or at least, I'm no where near.

When there's a will, there's a way. Or is there?

2007-03-27T23:01:00.000+08:00

Okay, the schedule/fixtures for the A division Softball matches are out.

11 April
VJ vs HCI @ VJ

25 April
TP vs VJ @ TP

2 May
VJ vs ACS @ VJ

9 May
NJ vs VJ @ NJ (edited)

16 May
VJ vs RJ @ VJ

Guys' matches are at 1430 while girls' matches are later at 1630 so we'll get to support each other. Good.

I need to improve on my throw, always so screwed during warm-up. And of course my stick, I need to bat truck-loads better. No longer going to have the count-on-others mentality.
J2s, just chiong with focus to 16 May. In less than 2 months, the softball season will be over, then you all have to worry about your A's. Hahaha.

==========
Art Day. Oh my, oh my. I think I am going to school tomorrow. I bet I'm going to waste my time.

On a sidenote/footnote, 42 episodes of prison break (45 mins each) = 31.5 hours of watching. Ownage.

2007-03-21T00:19:00.000+08:00

It's been a long week. So much for March Holidays. Hahaha.

Sat-Pre Camp
Sun-SRC (softball competition)
Mon-Training at Catholic High
Tue to Thur - Elects Camp
Fri- Match at Catholic High
Sat to Sun - SRC

Mon 19th March. Break. Finally. Haha

Elect's Camp:

We heard so much about it, that it would be so terrible, we would be treated like dirt (maybe worse) and that it was to be a tekan camp. But I'm glad we had the camp. It was a crash course to be bonded and learn vital lessons (albeit in a hard way). The activities were not simple, they weren't meant to be anyway. Thankfully we had our groups and elects as a whole to support each other. The toilet sessions, the hike, the mass dances and cheers, the games, the movie and sessions with teachers... The camp just rocked and

Titans [Jomaine, Leon, YiLing, Liu Yue, Camille, Benjamin and our Facils Terrence and Sin Ae] Owns, period.

A chain is only as strong as a weakest link. Something I've finally managed to understand during the camp after doubting it for quite some time. Maybe it applies more to council than sports? I don't know.

elects shirt is nice =)

SRC:
It ended with VJ clinching 3rd place after loses to RJ and ACS(I). I admit I probably got a little too carried away with winning HCI. Haha. But yea, since Year 1, we know that SRC doesn't really matter. It's a gauge, nothing more.

Nationals are more important, more prestigious. And it doesn't freaking start with a 1-1 count neither does it only last an hour, dammit! The games at SRC were rather short. Against RJ, only 6 batters got to hit -.-. And stop trying to say we're improving if we aren't. Sometimes, we aren't really improving, the opponents are the ones who make us look good. Winning 11-1 doesn't mean we played better than losing 0-8 or whatever score. You can't tell from scores alone.

We have a long way to go. For the win? Let's improve and then we'll see how.

2007-03-10T21:54:00.001+08:00

Posting results on tuesday, it was inevitable that people had to leave and new people have to come. Sadly some couldn't make it back to VJ while some appealed out of VJ which was unfortunately accepted. Still I wish them all the best in wherever they are.

6 new students came to our class and there were 7 new council nominees. I have nothing against scholars actually as I've met some good ones but they do need to curb their enthusiam and the I-know-everything- image they potray to the rest.

Orientation 2 not = Fail.

I felt with the short amount of time allocated for planning Orientation, we did quite well actually. Of course students still mass-pon but I don't really blame them. It was more for the second intakers actually, and I hope they found it useful in helping them to blend into VJ. Thankfully, there won't be and O2 next year. It makes so much more sense to have one intake.

==========

Ah. Src's tml. Two matches for VJ, one against NJ, the other against TP. Let's see how our first competitive match will go. Rest well, and play hard tomorrow. Yea, that's what I'll do.

2007-03-03T23:31:00.000+08:00

I can't believe it was just 5 days ago that I was elected into Student's Council. Gee, it feels like a few weeks. From Tuesday to today, I was tied to Student's Council doing a range of events. Preparing for Victorians Day (just over), Orientation Two (must come) and a little bit for Elect's Camp (13-15 March). We also finishing learning, but not yet perfecting, the VJ mass dances and cheers. It's so much more fun when you know them. Haha.

Today was Victorians day where Alumni's and current Victorians, students and teachers alike were invited. However, the attendance wasn't good but we still had fun. We tied and kept the banners already, ate FREE prata and mass danced! In my opinion, it was a good dance, the best so far.

After that was OGL training, the Ad-Hoc's briefed them and split them up to their OG's and gave them time to settle their names (with a short story) and come out with cheers too. And after that? The Mass Dance practices. Helped to facilitate a little. Nice to be the ones teaching. Haha.

Ate at KFC with some elects, talked, joked and came out with a rough design of the elects shirt. Came back home and watched the last half-an-hour of the match. Then, the unspeakable happened...

2007-02-20T21:26:00.000+08:00

Happy Chinese New Year People!

The time of the year where you see your relatives again and catch up what you've lost in a year. (At least that's the case for me.) Chatting with random relatives, gambling with and losing money to people whose names I don't even know. But never mind, those deficits were more than negated with the hongbao money. Oh ya, there's also those imba-ly nice food and cookies.

===========

Tomorrow's Cross Country. 4.8km, running competitive for softball. Sheesh, I want to run under 22mins but after the days of inactivity coupled with the CNY goodies, I'm kinda doubtful. Anyway, hopefully PE will be more fun when the Cross Country and Mock Napha are both over.
Sorry if you thought you were really going to run Yuan Hong. Haha.

Blogging for blogging's sake again...

2007-02-09T23:20:00.000+08:00

No complaints. 7A1s, 2A2s, L1R5: 7. English A2.

Catholic High Owns. Mean L1R5: 9.6! Juniors, treat us to dinner when you get the half/full day.

2007-02-04T00:29:00.000+08:00

Drank 2 litres of water.
Gurgled with salt water.
Sucked Strepsils.

But my throat is still as bad.

Maybe it's the CNY cookies I insisted on eating. Haha

==========

And dammit!
Liverpool had 67% possesion, 27 shots (10 on target)
Still the final score read 0-0.

DIE BITTERS. DIE!

2007-01-28T07:24:00.000+08:00

The first match with VJ Softball was against the Peicai B Div team. The final score read 14-15 but especially for this match, the score says nothing about the game. A friendly is where one can make mistakes, provided they learn from them and not repeat them again. Of the 15 or so who played, only 6 had played a softball match before. Kudos to those who made their debuts today. Despite the nerves and inexperience, they played well. Definitely a lot better than the first match I played.

My batting was surprising good today, had 2 doubles for 2 at bats. However, the same couldn't be said for my fielding. Made a couple of errors but that's what friendlies are for, I'll work on them. As a team, we fielded quite well, with the exception of an inning. The batting wasn't that bad either. However, everyone needs to know what to do when a ball is hit to them. Helps if we have a field to train all these.

Other than that, we should not blindly follow what others do. Let's try to encourage our teammates, rather than try and pressure/distract the opponents with unsportsmanlike behaviour. Frankly, I actually did all these distracting of opponents, but realized my mistake.

To sum it up, this friendly was a good start, it showed us where we could improve too. Everyone must strive to improve themselves and push themselves to the limit. A team cannot rely on only 9 but all 17. We must have the desire to improve and win. Let's strive to improve together.
Let's hope we can use the field and the freshmen start training next week.

2007-01-14T21:36:00.000+08:00

I can't believe it has only been 2 weeks into Junior College life. The days have been packed with activities which start with me leaving home early in the morning and reaching home always after sunset. Which is one of the reasons why I didn't blog during these two weeks.

No one should miss a JC's orientation, especially VJ's. Obviously people would be a little quiet at first, but slowly, people warm up and it gets lively. Mass dance, Sea Regatta and other games and the O.G outings were highlights of the orientation. 4 days really too short for orientation but there's nothing we can do about that.

As lectures and tutorials (particularly the physics ones) followed, it became rather boring again. I'm in 07/S45 and I like my class, although we can and will be closer as we move along. Sadly, I think Physics is really very boring and Biology seems more appealing now, so I might want to change my subject combination. But Physics is obviously the safer course for more options for university courses.

Outside lessons, I'm in softball. And I plan to run for Student's Council. Heard it's tough juggling both though. For softball, the team could be better. Probably because two years is a very short time to build a team, probably because I've been in a elite team in secondary school, probably because the mentality of the team is different.

But whatever the reason is, I wonder if it can be changed. I think it can be but the attitude of the team has to be changed. Can it be changed in this time where the team is preparing for competitions which we have to win or achieve a respectable position to give our sport a better position to bargain for more resources? So should we focus on having the right mentality or focus on winning games? The right mentality would eventually bring us victories but would it take too long? Sigh. All these makes me and probably others treasure our secondary school life.

The trips back to Catholic High on Saturdays are therapeutic. It's where I feel truly at home. Hopefully, I'll feel the same in Vj also.

Okay, that's about all. Let's see when's the next time I'll blog.

2007-01-03T01:36:00.000+08:00

Chiangmai Trip 29 Dec 2006 to 2 Jan 2007

Overview :

It wasn't meant to be a competition, nor a test of skills. It was meant for us to have fun, to enjoy playing softball together, to mark the end of a legendary four years together. Special thanks to Leo, Ha Min and Jun Cen for coming up with us to make this trip possible. And of course, not forgetting Yuan Hong's Dad, Mr Goh and also Coach Jerry.

The trip fulfilled its main objective. We spent five full days together, the best possible way to end the holidays. We played softball and enjoyed them, especially the last few ones. We played cards, drank, chatted, shopped, ate and celebrated New Year together. There was no absolute need for wonderfully-planned activities for us. It was the company we enjoyed the most.

I love you people.

==========
I'm getting a little sleepy. Don't look further than me surviving over 40 hours with only an hour of sleep. I guess I'll continue tomorrow

For all those going to new schools or classes, I hope you would blend in well with the new environment.Night.

2006-12-24T02:04:00.000+08:00

Sometimes you do things for the sake of doing, so here I am blogging just for the sake of blogging. To prevent my blog from stagnating for too long.

Christmas is coming, the festive joy and mood is in the air. However, in the secular world, it signals the closing of the holidays and the start of yet another school year. Oh my, hasn't the holidays passed quickly.

So the 4 years of secondary school life has ended...technically around a month ago. Still I am reluctant to leave it and enter the next stage. Undoubtedly, it would be the softball mates I would miss most and I know these trainings might be our last together.

It would be difficult to leave the comfort zone I am in, to enter another chapter of my life.

2006-12-02T19:57:00.000+08:00

Goodbye Singapore. Hello Penang.

At least until Thursday morning.

Good food, good food and good food.

And relaxing and shopping.

Did I say good food? You get my point.

2006-11-24T00:25:00.000+08:00

Theme: Footprints in the sand.

Unfortunately or fortunately for some, it rained on Graduation Night, negating the hard work the councilors put in to try and create a unique place for us to celebrate our last school event together as a cohort.

The graduation night was not over-hyped. For me, it was a night starting off with playing table tennis with schoolmates and most notably Mr Leong. It continued with the actual dinner where "Alive" played fine music for us while we tried to make the 70 dollars spent on food worth the money.

But the highlight of the event. The lucky draw. Only two prizes worth getting The Nokia 3G handphone and the Ipod Nano 2 GB (silver). Despite shouting "01085" till my throat went dry, the prize went to another ~~bastard~~

And how, how can this end without our famous school song?

Together with the Gong Jiao! Oi! Gong Jiao! Oi! Gong Jiao! Aba!

I know this will be the best 4 years of my life. If it isn't, I can't imagine 4 years which can rival the friendships, experiences and lessons I had in Catholic High Secondary.

==========
So Much for O's ending. Do I feel liberated? Do I feel I am on cloud nine?
I just thank God I have training.

2006-11-10T20:40:00.000+08:00

One Week! wOOt!

Soccer after E Maths was extremely fun and fufiling

2006-11-06T21:36:00.000+08:00

11 more days!

When I need inspiration or motivation to study, I look at the calender once again.
Less than 2 weeks. To freedom.

2006-10-15T22:11:00.000+08:00

Darkness

Remorsefully, I wiped away the tears flowing down my cheeks. Even though my eyes were open, I could not see a thing. With the sense of sight robbed from me, my other senses became more acute. The footsteps of the "guard" outside my cell were deafening to my ears. The "cell" was redolent of dead mice. The hair on my arms was slowly rising despite the high temperatures of the room. Most importantly, in the dark, I found my conscience again.

This was the first time I experienced the "attic punishment". My mother had threatened to bestow this horrific punishment on me if I did drugs. However, I never thought twice about doing it, if only to challenge her authority. Never did I know, until this fateful day, the terrible and morbid feeling you get in the attic.

It all started when Mother saw me with a few of my friends at the deserted building across our home, when I was supposed to be attending extra lessons in school. She saw a bottle of pills beside us as we were playing cards and arrived at the mistaken conclusion that we were taking drugs. Tried I did, but I could not convince her otherwise. It was then she threatened to send me to the attic if I ever took drugs again.

Needless to say, my blood boiled when she disregarded my explanations and accused me for a sin I did not commit. As a reckless teenager, I wanted to show I was not afraid of any punishment and popped a pill right in front of her face.

I never knew that Mother had that much strength. She dragged me up the staircase and flung me inside the room. Before I could stand up, the lock clicked. I was trapped inside.

The fury in me still did not abate then. I banged the door with my fist till it bled, kicked the door till my toes were numb. Still, the door did not budge. Only then did I slump onto the floor, ridden of hope.

Engulfed in darkness, I felt myself shrink in size as the room became bigger and bigger. Suddenly, I realised how vulnerable I was. Anything or anyone could be beside me and I wouldn't be able to see it. Aware of how fragile I actually was, my eyes became moist and damp as tears streamed down my cheeks.

My conscience did not just prick me, it pounded at me. It dawned upon me the care and concern Mother had for me. She did not want me to grow up and be like my father, ending up in jail over and over again. Neither did she want me to be like my older brothers, spending more time in the Boy's Home than school. She wanted me to learn, yet I was so cruel to her. I could only imagine the pain and torture I gave her when she saw me taking the drugs she confiscated from my brother. She must have felt she had failed as a mother again.

I stood up, only to fall onto my knees again.

Begging for forgiveness, I cried out, "I would never do this again, Mother!"

The wonderful lessons darkness can teach you.

2006-10-12T22:35:00.000+08:00

Farewell, goodbye.

To my beloved 4-3/2006

During the Secondary school orientation, I grimaced when I looked at the class list. Despite the large numbers of former primary school classmates I had going to Catholic High Secondary, not a single one was in the same class as me. The other 34 people in my class were strangers to me and I wondered if I would ever be at home with them.

How was I to know, that after the two years with 1-6/2003 and 2-6/2004, I would be unhappy to leave the class as it was and still is one of the finest class I was in? Sadly, it also meant I lost touch with my primary school friends. But still, after streaming, I was to be in a different class.

It really seemed like yesterday, where I came to school only on the second official day of school term due to the Chiangmai Open 2005. As I entered the class, I was surprised to see so many new, unfamiliar faces staring back at me. It seemed that quite a number were scholars who just came to Singapore, while others only those I've seen along corridors or canteens in the first two years of Catholic High. There was a little more familarity in this class, with JiaJun and WuSiew, but that was about it. Of course, 6 of my 2-6 classmates followed me here.

In Secondary 3, especially the first half of the year, I hardly spent any time in my class after or before lessons. Often I'd trot to the classrooms beside me, even across me to talk to other softballers. During joined classes such as Geog or History, I sat with softballers. During recess I sat with the softballers. Obviously, this bridged quite a big gap between the other classmates and me.

Fortunately, this did not continue till the end of my 2 years with them. Albeilt a little belatedly, I begun spending more time with them, staying in class and learnt more about my classmates. It was no coincidence that this was the time I stopped my CCA. For the first time, I also played soccer (excluding PE) with them. Slowly, I realised this class was different from every other class I've been in.

Despite the stereotype from other classes (and I thought this way initially too) that our class simply consisted of "muggers", I realised we weren't what they thought us to be. Sure, we were attentive during lessons and probably quieter and the ones taking notes during lectures but hey, aren't you all doing the same now that O's are near? Maybe, we just had the foresight ;)

Biased. You may call me, but I feel this is the best class to be in. The condusive environment to study cannot be disputed and yet, it is a healthy one. And I believe sports bond the class, playing soccer and basketball together really forged our bonds and strengthened them. Even now, it seems like we're the ones playing football/basketball regularly. And still we excel in our studies, topping many subjects in the prelims. Beat that. But I've not been in the other 9 classes, so I can't conclusively say that this is the best class to be in but certainly, I wouldn't swap this class for any other. Although I'd admit the 'fun' in other class was envied from time to time.

Almost 2 years have passed since I stepped in this class. To me, it has only been about a year or so with the class. Just imagine, the first time I actually went out with my classmates was this year at the Gan Qing Gu Xiang play at Victoria Concert Hall. But now as I finally feel at home with you guys, it seems like we have to part. I've enjoyed this experience though.

Soon, I will have to bid you guys farewell again. And I hope, we will continue to stay in touch.

I will remember Class 4-3/06

Next - To the 7 team-mates I will never forget. Never ever.

2006-10-08T22:17:00.000+08:00

The last week of school. The last four days. If there's a time to feel the heat, the time is now.

First, let me not be an asshole and lament over my prelim results, 7A1 and 2A2, I gotta be happy. The only thing that haunts me is my decision to drop HCL. But I've gone through this a few times, and I'm not going through it again. I've made a decision - a bad one- and I'll live with it.

Though it might just cost me the ticket to the JC I really want to go to.

There will be a time to part, hopefully it'll be later, rather than sooner. Hopefully everyone will go to the same JC and we will enjoy the days like we had in secondary school but sadly, this isn't an utopian world.

The prelims count for nothing, the hardwork is zilch if these 3 weeks or so is not wisely spent. On the other hand, ss I wrote in an earlier essay on "Rest", one still cannot undermine the importance of rest-at a minute amount.

So, let's all strive on. And try to hope that effort = results.

Personal Memo: 9 Days to the first O level Practical.
==========

Btw, Happy Birthday Dad!

"Getting older already la"

Hahaha. Must everybody say that? Glad you liked the Carpenters CD Bro and I bought for you.

==========

There! I've finally blogged.

And shaun wanted me to post this music video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wl4zGbSBP3U

2006-09-15T23:53:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday Mum.

Unfortunately, you have to be in Hong Kong to do some work on your birthday. I know you're working so hard and putting up with your employers all for my brother and me. We appreciate it. Thanks for all you've sacrificed for us. We don't say it but we love you.

==========

Only 1 and a half subject to go. Additional Mathematics and History(Elective). Time for a breather. Then full force foward for tomorrow and Sunday.

Prelims so far were similar to "O" Level Standard. Once again, my Maths and my Sciences should get Distinctions. Hopefully the same for the rest of the subjects too. For once in a very long time, I feel confident for my Geography paper.

Kudos to the teachers who guided us here.

They also do have a point. Character outweighs results in terms of importance. We should not let the Prelims be our excuse for not doing what everyone must. The simple action of clearing up after ourselves. Not let other people suffer for what we do (or rather did not do)

Unfortunately, Character is intangible while results are what counts for JC/Poly admittance.

2006-09-12T20:56:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday, Sweet 16.

Ah. Finally 16.

Nothing extraordinary happened today. Well, the prelims certainly did not stop for me. At least the Geography paper was managable. Still had to study for Biology. Still have to. I'm not that extraordinary, okay. ;)

Came home after studying in the Bishan Library for the seventh day running. Indulged in The Bone Collecter, and finished it. So now, I'm trying to convince myself to study tonight and not sleep early to catch the liverpool game at 3.45a.m.

Call me crazy. I'll probably choose the latter.

Thanks for the birthday wishes. Though many (yeah right), I'll remember every one of them. As the saying goes, you only get 16 once in your entire life. So, I'll probably catch the match, at least the second half.

Good luck for everyone taking prelims or other major examinations.

2006-08-27T20:20:00.000+08:00

Ignoring an important message.

The words reverberated in my head.

Tried I did, but I could not get them out of my head. I half-expected my hands to be bloodied. My ignorance has caused the deaths of the twenty-three people in the bomb blast today. The news presenter glared at me, making me feel uneasy. It was as if she knew what I had done. My eyes felt moist, damp, my vision blurred.

I started this day like any other. I strolled to the bus stop at 6.10a.m to catch the bus.
The trip to the bus stop although short, never failed to make me feel blissful. The fresh morning air energized me as I inhaled it slowly to my lungs. The morning might seem soundless to others, but to me, I heard the plants rejoicing at the first hint of sunlight and the stray cats enjoying the cool breeze. This very breeze also took all my troubles away.

I greeted the bus driver, Mr Tan, as I hopped on the bus. I scanned around for a vacant seat. "No luck today," I muttered to myself. Not wanting to waste precious time, I took out a book to read.

My trail of thoughts was disrupted when someone accidentally collided into me. Expecting to receive an apology, I looked up. The Catholic Junior college student was exceptionally tall and of large build. He was also mumbling to himself and seemed oblivious that he bumped into me and continued to walk straight towards the rear of the bus. It was no surprise that he knocked me. I was amused by the sheer size of his school bag. If not for his uniform, I would have assumed he was a backpacking tourist.

I was about to return to my book when it struck me.

"What if he is not a student?" He looked way too mature for an eighteen year old and his accent was strange. All these aroused doubts that he was a typical Junior College student.

I tried to observe him more carefully but the bus was packed to the brim. Bodies and heads were all I could see and the student was all the way at the back of the bus. I recalled the student to be burly and tall. I just could not recall any more about him. My attention had been solely on the bag.

The message that repeats itself every few minutes in MRT stations replayed in my head. "If you see any suspicious articles, please dial 999"

The bag certainly seemed dubious. It was definitely too huge for a student. Would he really be a terrorist? I laughed at that thought the moment it surfaced to my mind. A terrorist attack in the perpetually safe Singapore? Impossible!

The people around me did not suspect anything amiss. Why should I take action then? Furthermore, I doubted the police would believe the word of a fifteen year old that he discovered a terrorist attack. I convinced myself that I would probably be chided for seeking attention and wasting their time instead.

The familiar school building was just in front. I had to take a decision soon. Should I call the police or just notify Mr Tan of my suspicions? Or should I follow the rest of the passengers and take no interest in the student? Oh well, the Physics test during the first period should be the main concern now. I certainly do not have time to spare on this student. I smiled to myself, a trifle sheepishly, as I pressed the bell and got down from the bus. Once again, I thought, my imagination ran wild.

Word spread in school that there had been a bomb blast, a terrorist attack. It had apparently occurred at the neighbouring Ang Mo Kio town, no where near the vicinity of my school. No one could confirm the news item. I did not want to ascertain my suspicions – the bomb blast happened on the bus I was on….

But there was no escaping from the truth.

I waited in trepidation for the news at 5.30p.m. My hands shook uncontrollably as I switched on the television. Immediately, on Prime Time News, images of a bloodied scene were displayed. The wrecked frame of the SBS transit bus was spewed grotesquely all over the ground. There were bodies covered up by blue canvas sheets – a dignified attempt to cover the gore from the public.

As I stared, riveted to the screen, the news presenter mentioned the bus service number – 88. The very same bus I take to school everyday.

My elder sister shrieked out in shock as she saw what happened on the television.
"How is it that no passenger actually noticed anything suspicious in the bus? With the constant bombarding of messages to look out for suspicious articles, if only someone heeded the advice, these people would not have died, right brother?"

I looked around for a gun. A knife will suffice. Not finding either, I was unable to appease my guilt. Looking at the bodies on the television once more, my heart seemed to stop beating. It seemed that I was heartless, to choose to ignore the student, and instead choose to end the lives of these 23 people.

Slumped onto the floor, I realised the horrifying consequences of my actions. Or rather, my inaction. The warning messages were so explicit. Yet I had chosen to ignore it. And that caused 23 lives. The words “mass murderer” replayed in my head.

==========

Thanks Mr Heng for helping me edit this composition and giving me tips.

Good luck to everyone for tomorrow's prelims.

2006-08-19T22:49:00.000+08:00

Just some thoughts on the first match of the English Premier League. Not on any specific team, just how I felt after the game. I was rather quiet during the car journey home, which allowed me to think.

==========

Supporting sport teams are like a double edged sword. What makes it even sharper is the expectations you place on the team and how much you actually support the team, how passionate you are.

Oh, the taunting you receive after a match. But still, that isn't the main reason you are upset. It is because your team didn't do well or didn't get the desired result.

Somehow, it makes me livid. Maybe I take it too seriously? When the people whom I feel are not true supporters, taunt me or try to emphatise with me, my blood boils. But i console myself, they don't experience true joy when "their" team wins either.

One draw with sheffield united. Am I sad? Yeah, but 37 wins on the trot, and I'll be fine again ;).
Some games, you win, some games you lose. Or some, you draw. I'll be the first to admit Liverpool were lucky to get the penalty and the resulting draw. Still it is a EPL season of 38 games and not 1.

Maybe, maybe. I just put in too much into this beautiful game. I must also learn to take tauntings with a piece of salt.

2006-08-18T22:53:00.000+08:00

Subtlety isn't one of my traits.

Liverpool home jersey 2006/07
-Jamie Carragher (23)
- Short sleeve will suffice.

http://www.liverpoolfc.tv/replicakit/home_hi.htm

2006-08-06T22:33:00.000+08:00

Although the pre-race hype was all on the championship race - Renault and Ferrari, Alonso and Schumacher- Jenson Button stole the limelight with his first victory at the checkered flag in his career. A result made even more amazing for starting the race in 14th pole position, due to a 10 place penalty for an engine change.

Credit to Schumacher and Alonso who started on 11th and 13th place respectively due to a 2 second penalty for dangerous driving, if I'm not mistaken. They drove races worthy of their current championship position (Alonso 1st, Schumi 2nd) however were knocked out of the race to the chequered flag due to one error. Just like most other sports, the error is deemed unforgivable.

Alonso was the unluckier one out of the two, however, he can only blame his Pit crew. Apparently, during his final pit stop, one of the crew did not tighten the wheel to perfection. As a result, all his hardwork, battling to become the leader with 18 laps remaining came to nought with a crash due to the failure of his wheel. All it took was an error.

Schumi only had himself to blame though. He tried very hard to fight off Heidfield to keep his 3rd place. After much battling and determination, he paid the price for overworking his car. He had a slight collision while attempting to prevent Heidfield from overtaking and as a result had to go back to the pit, never to return for this race. All this with a mere 3 laps remaining. What counted was not his previous 67 laps, but this 3 laps he did not complete. He also did not take opportunity of Alonso's earlier crash and instead joined Alonso to finish with zero points.

So the championship race did not progress an inch. Both Alonso and Schumi finished with nothing. 5 races remain and the race for the championship is still on.

After watching the F1, two things in particular struck me.
1) Nobody rewards you for the effort in real life, it is still the results that count. Nobody will credit Alonso with points for his amazing, near-perfection race, gliding from 13th in pole to lead with 18 laps remaining.
2) All it takes is one error. Just one error. And face it, the error might not even been commited by you. You work as a team, you pay for each other's mistakes.

==========
So, that's how sports work.

Good luck to the Catholic High Softball "C" Division Boys in their semi-final against ACS(I).
Have faith in yourself and work as a team.
Get the results your efforts merit and don't let the team down.
And even your efforts are not rewarded, don't give up hope.

2006-07-20T19:40:00.000+08:00

It just take a few black sheeps to tarnish the school's reputation. The glory of the school, brought up by our sports, namely basketball and softball, outstanding results in our aesthetics (and before last year), our improving results.
Mr Krishnan

Thank God for these teachers, teachers who carry the school flag with them. Some barely came to Catholic High for a year, but they seem more passionate than those in this school for 4 years. It is embarassing, to be honest. But as stated, they are a minority.

These people just don't have gratitude. People wonder what Catholic High has done to them to merit such critical words. True, Catholic High - just like any other school/organization- is imperfect. Can't you just express some gratitude, or at least don't stab Catholic High in the back.

Any grievances you might suffer due to the school, express it to the proper authorities. Why resort to publishing in internet forums or setting up blogs to derail the school's reputation? What's the result? People from other school mock at us for "mud-slinging", tarnishing our own school. I don't wonder why they mock us, it's really embarassing.

Let those who actually care for the school's name actually convince others and spread the school's good image. Forget about telling others we are a reputable school for now, start from within. Kindly tell those who don't give two hoots about the school to stay quiet. Only when there's no internal conflict, can the school progress. I'll admit I once sat on the fence, now, I'll make sure I'll do my part for the school.

10 years.
I have green blood.

2006-07-09T22:04:00.001+08:00

Lying on your bed on a wet Sunday afternoon -listening to the sheets of rain thump the ground while staring at your ceiling- hoping time would stop.
Some call it a waste of time, unnecessary indulgence. Some say it's provides solace and calms your nerves.

Still, after doing that for an hour or so, you get uneasy. Something tells you that you are simply letting time slip past your fingers. Not cherishing your time properly.
"You should do some work" Someone advises. Choosing not to heed that precious advice, you go on to play some computer games. Sometimes, Sundays like this gives you many pleasures. Not just because of the lazing around itself, but the fact that you hardly get to do it.

After that, someone asks you a ridiculous question, asking if you're watching the world cup later. Treating it as a rhetorical question, you don't see the need to answer. However, the person gets real angry and flares up. You shrug your shoulder and go back to the computer. And that someone seems to be appalled that you are actually deciding to watch the world cup.

Oh please. It's once every 4 years. And it's the finals. Who gives two hoots about school tomorrow really?

==========

Ordinarily, when he was troubled, softball would be the perfect sanctuary for all his woes. When he was swinging a bat or throwing a ball, time had no meaning for him, and life had no sting.

On this momentous day, however, softball provided no solace. As he picked up his personal bat, his hand continued to shake uncontrollably. His thoughts were all channeled to her. Though not a pious man, he muttered a silent prayer for her. This was by no means a common and minor operation.

==========

2006-06-25T21:54:00.000+08:00

The end of the June Holidays marks the start of Prelims 2, oh great.

GCE O Level Chinese, Two weeks of Lessons, Trip to Rawa(Malaysia), Sports trial at Hwa Chong, Combined Schools 06 at NUS open, Back for English Lessons.

Watching World Cup at nights, squeezing in some time for revision/homework and playing a little computer games.

This pretty much somes up the holidays.

Crap/Random post.

2006-06-13T18:04:00.000+08:00

The World Cup has started. If there's a country I support it would be England/Spain. Just because there's where the Liverpool players are. But, England with Erikson and the under-achieving Spain, it's highly unlikely that either of them would even reach the finals.

A fitting farewell for Erikson would be the Finals. But for me, any farewell to Erikson is fitting.

==========

It is bugging me. I stall, make excuses, just to delay the decision. There are mixed advice given to me. Many, in fact all, believe I can make it through the front door. Sure, I believe in that too. Still, i'm unconvinced that I can get in for the first three months. The ever present "what if's". And that I might not be able to take the courses I want in JC. It seems unfair that I'm sort of penalised due to my capability in studies. I would feel guilty if I got the DSA though, as I would take up a space and deprive a fellow teammate of a space. I'd just hope that it would be a fellow teammate that gets it if I decide against applying. I'm trying to look for a win-win situation. Apply under leadership/studies? Argh.

Dammit. My foot became worse after today.

2006-06-03T13:46:00.000+08:00

GCE O Level Chinese is over.
I'm quietly confident.

Combined school selection done. ( All 5 of us got in)
Hwa Chong (JC) is a nice place to be =)

Sprained my foot while playing soccer yesterday.
Thanks Marcus, Ben and bro for helping me. I felt kinda hopeless, being unable to walk. Hopefully, I'll recover soon.

==========

Softball Chalet

Being there for the Chalet as a Secondary 4 -not having to go for meetings, trainings, being able to do and leave anytime I wanted- felt weird. I was there for most of the chalet, only having to go back to school on the second day of chalet for a short time. Everything felt different. From washing the dishes to playing games.

The highlight for me was definitely the second night there. After feasting on the food there was a farewell arranged for us. Mr Goh shared with his experience of bringing us up and the future of the team. Emphasised on was obviously the discipline instilled in us and the character we have.

Ben Oh, together with the rest, gave us an photo album. Each of us had 15 photographs in it. No album was idetical, it was customised for each of us. It was a nice gift and I won't hesitate to say that it would mean more to us than what we gave to Gary and Boris- we gave them a cool cap.

Uncle Norman gave us a Mizuno 100 softball each where we collected the signatures of our B division teammates and our coaches and parents. It would fit nicely in my ball holder and I'll keep it for life. =)

After that we went to Downtown East to bowl. Unfortunately it was under renovation. The pool room was also a no-no for us under sixteens. We then went to the arcade where I owned in virtual tennis. We then went to a cool game. Bishi-Bashi? Oh man, it sucked the money out of us, but we had a hell of a good time there.

Broke, bored, we went back to the chalet. Played a little of bridge, then showered. After that, with Ben Say, we had to play a lame game. Indain Poker it was. Marcus was hell good at it, with his combination of reverse psychology and convincing statements/reactions. The ability to change the card of someone was actually had a very good card seemed to be more of a success than being the overall winner. Yuan Hong and us all had a good laugh in that game. I still chuckle when I remember that game. For fear of making too much noise, and having played it for too long a time, we stopped the game. After that, it was probably the adrenaline or the fact that this is our farewell night, we didn't want to sleep. So we did things to keep us awake. Star Wars X-box game, Major League, Biology notes. Still it did not work, I slept for 1 hour or so. I woke up only the see the end of Major League, the movie I was watching.

==========

We then proceeded to school, where I had lessons and sprained my foot while playing football. After scoring two goals, I must add. Ben and Marcus then helped me to a taxi where I proceeded home to rest.

I just hope my foot will recover soon or soon enough. I think maybe, just maybe, I might stay out of soccer for the time being.

2006-05-22T22:03:00.000+08:00

It's been a pretty long time since I blogged. 12 days to be precise.

In these 12 days, things were not mundane, but they were repetitive. Chinese, MVP(baseball PC game), Chinese, MVP. You get the picture. There would occasionally be the preliminary re-take exams slotted in between the Chinese revision.

The truth is not easy to handle. All the hardwork, put in by both the teachers and us would just go to nought. If we don't get the A's. I would hardly feel reprieved that I know I tried my best but failed. Furthermore, this wouldn't be the first time I would feel disappointed.

I know I should not feel this pessimistic. Sigh. I guess I have a little taste of how some of the others feel with their respective weak subjects.

For the recent preliminary examinations, it was the same story as always. Math and Sciences were A1's, while humanities relied on the ability to spot questions. Language was average at best. I have to compliment Hou Yang for doing well for his English. I should feel ashamed. He had just acquired the language proper last year, yet the results show, they are already on par, if not better than many of the local Singaporeans.

Feeling very moody. Maybe it's the lack of softball, maybe the lack of companionship, maybe the lack of happiness in the people around me. Or maybe it's the lack of sanity after all the Chinese proverbs being drilled into me.

Or maybe, it's the lack of Christ in me.

2006-05-10T21:51:00.000+08:00

Warning: Spoiler Ahead.

If you have not watched Missioin Impossible 3, maybe you wouldn't want to read this.

==========

I can picture the scriptwriters of Mission Impossible 3 in a room discussing.

Scriptwriter 1: Oh shit! How do we get Tom Cruise on top of the 162m Building?

Scriptwriter 2: Chill! Just let him be like Criss Angels. Magically appear on the building, together with his team. And a pitching machine to distract the guards.
What I want is to try and lead the audience to a false conclusion that his wife was shot dead.

Scriptwriter 1: That's simple. Just create an artificial face and put it over her! Hahaha. They will be stunned and shocked. Okay, how is Tom Cruise and his team going to escape from Vatican?

Scriptwriter 2: Ahh...Just give them a speedboat and let them escape by the river!

Scriptriter 1: That sounds impossible, where is the logic behind that?

Scriptwriter 2: Hey! Isn't that why it is called Mission Impossible?

==========

It's the normal cliche movie. But still, it's worth catching if you have the time, well there isn't many other better movies (that I can watch) presently.

Btw, if you are wondering, I didn't go and watch the movie, someone told me the story. =D
How could I go watch a movie, when I have a biology prelims tomorrow?

2006-05-04T22:13:00.000+08:00

Mummy, It's over!!
- From Just for laughs

And so, the time has come. Time to say goodbye to Catholic High Softball. It's not like I'm going to severe all ties, it's far from it. But still, as I hate to admit it, it will be different. The truth hasn't really dawned on me yet, but soon it will. I love Catholic High Softball Team. =)

Today was supposed to be the 3rd/4th placing game, the game to end our season. Instead, there was a walkover. I'm not going to lambast anybody. We made full use of the opportunity and played a scrimmage. The secondary 4's, together with Shaun and Mr Chew to play against the Sec 3's with Mr Goh KY. It was a game of fun, of enjoyment. A game of farewell. Sigh.

The last 'game', the last bus ride, the last prize, the last time i don the jersey for an Official CH Softball Match.

See ya Guys,
take a look at the pictures below.

I'm feeling emo. Lol.

2006-05-04T21:24:00.001+08:00

The preparation room

2006-05-04T21:24:00.000+08:00

Eh?

2006-05-04T21:23:00.001+08:00

The school song

2006-05-04T21:23:00.000+08:00

And the cheer that comes after the song.

2006-05-04T21:22:00.000+08:00

Catholic High B Division 2006

2006-05-04T21:21:00.000+08:00

Look carefully, someone is without a cap. :D

2006-05-04T21:11:00.001+08:00

The pioneer batch, graduating batch. And our coach.

2006-05-04T21:11:00.000+08:00

2006-05-04T21:10:00.000+08:00

We left our mark on the field

2006-05-02T19:18:00.000+08:00

How different it would be if I did not make this error.

How different it would be if I did not run stupidly.

How different it would be if I listened to my coach instead.

===========

But, we didn't lose the game because of all those things stated above. We did try our best. We did want it so hard. We did things right, followed intructions. We lost because the other team just did enough to outscore us.

All credit to Bises, for his wonderful pitching today. And also the rest of the team for supporting him throughout the game. Good luck to Peicai for the finals.

==========

It hurts to lose. Hurts real badly. Especially when you want the championship so, so much. But I take some comfort that we played well. Remember 2004, when we were against Montfort in the semi-finals. We didn't play half as well today but the results seem inversely proportional to the standard of play.

This game would certainly build character. Character would help us in life more than a championship might. It would be nice to have both but sometimes things don't always go your way. I can't say I feel happier now losing a good game than in 2004 where we won a bad game, but in retrospect, I know I would prefer to have today's kind of game anytime. It will hurt, undoubtedly. But it will also impart to us important lessons in life.

==========

There is still one more game to go. Let's rally together and fight for it. End the season with a sweet note. For the secondary 4's, let's go all out in this game. For there really isn't any tomorrow. All the hardwork we put in, we must see the results. Let's do it on thursday.
And, just a warning, don't be complacent.

The lost is attributed to the team, not to a single person. So let us also stop the blaming of oneself. No single person is to blame. It would only seem like we are not a team but a group of 9 playing together.

Thanks Mum, for coming down to support me. And trying to console me after the game.

Thanks to Mr Goh, Coach Alex, and all my teammates and Peicai, for letting me experience such a game.
================

Discipline.
Character.
Then Championship.

In order of importance to life.

2006-04-23T09:28:00.000+08:00

Ouch!

It's sad that the season had to end early for Jo but we'll get all out and get it for him, won't we?

Jo, Get well soon. =D

PS. Yao xian, don't dwell on this either, no one wanted this to happen. It was a pure freak accident. Jo doesn't blame you, right jo?

2006-04-19T22:15:00.000+08:00

Mr Goh: Edmund, If the words and comments on Mon has made you guys felt like sh*t, it has to be. You guys have experienced extremity in this 4 years.

Yeah, it did make us feel quite terrible. But we know that it was our fault. Still, it didn't sound good.

Mr Goh: From the ups of the Championship to the very down of early knock-outs. You all know a championship is the ups. what about anything in between?

Depends on how well we had played. If we had played well, to our expectations, we would feel satisfied even if we did not make very far. A classic example would be 2003, against Temasek, we edged them out and qualified to thesecond round. We celebrated like we'd won the whole thing. This is contrasting to during the semi-finals against Montfort in 2004. We did win them, but yet, we felt like we've lost.We did not play up to standard.

Mr Goh: But well It's life, you never know what you are gonna get at the end of the day. I have too much a teacher in me as a coach. I think I should quit.

In my opinion, having teacher-attributes in a coach is a good mix. Education is still the most important thing.

Mr Goh: I have to correct Marcus on his blogs : I said," training are for coaches, championship are for PLAYERS" not "Winners". A bit sad though to read about his comments. Mr Goh: The faith in all of you. I have done my part in bringing you guys to the nationals. It's your Championship. Go get it.

We've never said thank you nearly often enough. But I know everyone, including Marcus, is really thankful and grateful forall that you did for us. Without you, our lives would clearly be very different. You improved our quality of life.

Mr Goh: Not everyone can take this sh*t especially when you guys mature and have your own say in many things. But I have never given up on any of you.

Thanks for never waning in you faith in us. I'm really sorry we made you feel so bad. And we know you are not just "everyone", you are "someone".

Mr Goh: the answer: Slamp you down, but don't kill you, then anything else is easy. Does it work ? Well I don't know. I have to try at least.
Mr Goh: I was trying very hard, spending sleepless night thinking of how to pick you guys up.
Mr Goh: It will take someone who feel that much to say things like I I did. It's never easy to scold ( just to let you know)

I never once fanthomed that you liked to scold us.

Mr Goh: I am not asking for forgiveness (I never do for I know what I am doing) nor your understanding.
Mr Goh: And if you listen, you understand, and if you understand, you do, and if you do, you deliver.
Mr Goh: for you to understand that if you experience the worst, anything else would mean far more pleasant to the ears.
Mr Goh: do the right thing? ....I have to bring you guys to the other spectrum of the extremity
Mr Goh: You all know a championship is the ups. what about anything in between? process? commitment? feelgood factor? faith? basics?

All too often, my vision is obscured by the lust to succeed. Sometimes, I really need to learn to fall back on my basics.I think this season. We wanted to win too much. It is not over yet, we'll fight to the end!

Thanks Mr Goh for your care and utmost concern for us. We've never shown you enough gratitude.

2006-04-18T22:33:00.000+08:00

Papers sprawling across the study table, books laying on the floor. A cup of half-drunk coffee is right beside a teenager who dozed off while preparing for his preliminary examinations. So much for the energy the caffine in the coffee contains.
==========

It's all in a mess. I can't find my stuff. Little wonder if you see the condition my room is in now. Without my brother, there should be double the space. Yet, it is actually doubly messy.

Prelims is just around the corner, still I struggled with a simple Chemistry paper, dozing off in the midst of doing it. To my horror, I realised that Chemistry is no longer that simple to me now. The signs were foreboding. In my recent test, I only managed a measly 26/40. I am getting complacent. I better study and prepare fervently now.

In two days time, the dreaded prelims come. Inevitably, the english paper is the first. My english standard is by far better than my chinese. Still, no way am I even near a distinction grade. The importance of the prelims evaded me until now. This prelims is in fact 30%. It could give me the pass to the junior college I badly need. It could give me a bonus two points which will make up for the absence of Higher Chinese. To do that, I need a distinction at least for my English. That is not terribly easy.

To cap it off, the softball finals have been postponed to the first week of May. This will clash with the preliminary examinations. I would have to plan my time very effectively. I actually thought I could start full steam ahead for my preparations next week onwards, never did I cater for the possibility of the finals being postponed.

Sigh. Never mind. I will cope like how I always have been. Undoubtedly, I have to buck up.

3 more games to go. I'm beginning to sense the drive in me once again. But now, I'm challenged. The obstacle is bigger now.

2006-04-16T14:36:00.000+08:00

The last training was horrendous.

After that, it seemed like the championship was a minute possibility, it seemed like it was far, perceptibly not within reach. It was morbid. How could the feeling of invincibility just a few months ago evaporated so quickly? A neutral would probably place his wager on us going through to the top 4 and challenging for the championship, but it seemed like the spirit of the team was non-existant.

What happened?

I asked myself that question and received no answer. At that point of time, I felt like giving up the dream. For fear that my dream would not be fufilled. Is my dream a mere fantasy? A dream without backing or fuel to keep on going? I was confused. I tried to look around for support but my efforts were futile. Who else to turn to? Everyone looked as fearful and confounded as I was.

With my emotions bottled, I reached home to complete my work. Frankly, I'm seriously lagging in my work. Now, it seemed that neither my CCA or studies were ideal. I felt disillusionised. One championship in 4 years does not do justice to the effort and passion we have. Although my studies were backed up by results, sadly it does not count. What counts is the prelims and the all-important O's. Who knows how I will do for those exams.

==========

After the Aesthetics, I felt differently. I saw the band members. They had a sense of fufilment in them, they seemed genuinely happy. Can Softball give that to me this year? I felt very 不甘愿. It must end well. The renewed drive lasted until today at least. I figured we had a good chance of making it to the top 4. We have to beat yuying, and hope that ACS will triumph over RI. On paper, ACS wins the battle. And I believe that they will. So we will just have to hope for the best then. And of course, we must win tomorrow.

The renewed drive was sparked by the Aesthetics concert. I really want to end it well. With cheers going on and on. The cheers at the end of the concert sparked the memory of 05-08-2004. The feeling that the band members had was infectious. But I know, they will never feel as fufilled as we did that day.

But I want to relive that moment again. His mood is unpredictable. Undoubtedly, he doesn't make it all that easy for us. Just what does he want to prove with his constantly demoralising comments? Is he trying to psych us up? If he was trying to psych us up, I would have to admit he failed. We were so down-spirited at the end of our(or some of our) last training.

But we still must do it. Finish the task. It is not over, although we feel like it is. We must strive on.

Finish the task. End it well with

Fireworks!

2006-04-12T21:39:00.000+08:00

It struck me suddenly.
Whatever sparked it I don't know. But the reality hit me. What 4 yours I had, the 4 years I envisioned when I was in secondary 1; it is all going to end by 4 games. Within 2 weeks.
All over. Soon. All all over.

The inability to describe how I feel is due to the fact that I don't even understand how I feel. But still "the one game at a time" must still be the ideology. Who knows, it might never reach the 4 games. But I 'm confident. That we will want to play to the maximum. Relish it once again. Relieve the experience once again.

Discipline and obedience.
Process and results.
Education and Championships.

Someone has got to find the difference between them, and inculcate them to every team.

===========

Didn't go to support cross country today, but here are the results.

C Division 2nd overall.
Xuan De got 4 in national. WOW.

B Divisioni 6th overall.

2006-04-10T20:26:00.000+08:00

Yesterday
All my troubles seemed so far away
Now it looks as though they're here to stay
Oh, I believe
In yesterday

Suddenly
I'm not half the man I used to be
There's a shadow hanging over me
Oh, yesterday
Came suddenly

How I long for yesterday to repeat itself again.

2006-04-06T19:07:00.000+08:00

Edmund will be back tomorrow.

Tomorrow's game would just be like any other game, please don't place too much importance on it. Over-preparation and over-precaution would do us no good.

I draw my strength from you, so don't let the lust for winning obscure you higher plan.

ps. I'm sorry. I just wasn't here today. Put me anywhere from 1 to 9 to bench tomorrow and I won't disappoint.

Slumps aren't meant to stay.

2006-04-02T20:21:00.000+08:00

I waited in trepidation for the results of the damned test. My efforts have been poured into the preparation of this test. Why must results be the only thing that matter? I'd blanked out during the test, only to recover just in time to complete the paper. All the hours and days I put in into this test would count as naught if my results proved that all my efforts were futile.

Why? Why must results be the only thing that matter?

The A4 paper attached to the result slip stunned me. I'll be lying if I said I didn't expect it, but still, no amount of preparation could be enough to get me ready for the result. All my efforts were gone. Wasted. I shouldn't even have tried.

==========

But is results the only thing that counts?

Many people emphasise that the process is the thing that builds you, moulds your character. But still, the results will decide your future. If the preparation had been so efficient and all your efforts have been put into it, it should guarentee you the sucess and present to you your desirable result.

No one doubts that effort is needed for success. We however, often forget the second part, efficiency. More often than not, we follow blindly. There's no one to lead us to the correct decision; as a result, our preparations not only come to zilch, it in fact also stunts our progress. When a new leader tries to steer us back to the correct path, he finds it difficult. The wings are just too hard. Just like a bonzai plant, we must be shaped right from the start. If not, it would be terribly difficult and daunting a task to get us back to the right footpath.
Even if we try our best, without a leader, we would not be able to progress and our weeks of training could just be an effective one hour worth of training. We are lucky to have good leaders to guide us to the right path.

When results are positive, no one questions the process, the preparation. However, when things turn awry, they'll pin-point the bad things. They were obscured by the fact that the results were good, they didn't see the mistakes earlier. We must learn from this mistake. We must correct the mistakes even if they do work, keep faith with the basics even if they do not work yet.

So often, we also don't know what is right/wrong. There is little defination of that, especially in sports. Who can say that Ichiro's way to bat is wrong as it emphasises too much on running first? It works. Who can say Bagwell's ma bu stance is hampering his batting? It works too. The list goes on. Who knows, maybe Babe Ruth had a bad habit, but it was never highlighted due to his god-like number of homeruns.

==========

Lord, please guide me back to the right path. I seem to be steering away from the right path. I am knowingly going to the road of temptation. please. Take me back. I want to be a good child again.

2006-03-30T20:23:00.000+08:00

The crack of lightning stung his ears.

Leaving it charred, never can it be restored back to normal.

Was whether the rest could survive without him the only question that ran through the mind?

What about whether he could survive without the rest?

His past year of turmoil and sweat flowing down the drain to the sea?

I hope not.

I better watch my language from now on. Especially when the one is around.

2006-03-26T12:37:00.000+08:00

Secondary 4, the most challenging year.

No where as exhilariting as the first year
No where as fufiling as the second.
And no where as energizing as the third.

People wonder why I'm feeling challenged.

My life should be perfect, shouldn't it? My studies are fantastic, with 7 A1's masking the poor grades of my mother tongue last term. The "confirmed" A1's for the O levels has disregarded the fact that i got for a B3 for my Chinese O level. The pressure of being in one of the better classes is getting into me. I wake up early just to try and finish my work.

But that is my choice.

Put academic work aside, I have softball. No doubt it helps me remain sane to a certain degree, but it's also driving me insane. Just when I thought all will be fine and I can carry on playing the sport I love, injuries have plagued me. And i feel disillusionised, my performances do not justify my place in the team. Error-filled with no hits to make up for it. Teammates being railed for somethings; but when it is me doing them, it's a different matter. You think I feel good about that? Think again. There is no armband. But, I feel like putting it down, giving it up to another person who can take the job and fufil the role better than me.

With no one to actually confide to, I feel lost. This year, one of the closest person to me was taken away to other commitments. So that's another person who I used to be able to talk to scratched off the list. Somehow, I feel I'm putting on a false front when amongst my friends. I want to have a confidant or be a confidant. But once again, I'm not up to it.

There still is a darker secret, which i dare not reveal.

But there is still hope. I hope.
And still life goes on.

2006-03-20T21:56:00.000+08:00

Singapore Baseball Softball Association / Singapore Recreational Club Softball competition

The team matured progressively throughout the years. The SRC tournament is a testimony to that.

From year one, where we have been described as "lambs being led to the slaughter house". Where we were elated to lose to FTP by a mere one run. It was by no means a lack of ambition from us. Afterall, we were just a 3 month old team. I remember what one coach - I can't remember which coach- said, do not look down on their team now; give them a year and the roles would be reversed. These were not his actual phrasing of it but I believe I've caught the gist of it.

And right he was. The second year, brimming with confidence - a fine line seperates confidence with arrogance- we managed to batter all obstacles ahead of us in the SRC tournament. We met Marist in our first match. It was a repeat of our final match in Nationals the year before. Vengence was the talk of the game, we won that game. An unprecedented feat. We never won a SRC match before. From that moment, we never looked back. This year, we cleared the hurdles ahead of us to beat ACS in the SRC finals.
Jingcheng, if i remember correctly, sparked the comeback with a homerun.

The third year was a challenging one for the B division. Catholic High, Orchid Park, Peicai were all in the same group in the first round. And only one can go through to the next round. We met orchid park and edged past them. Marcus had the game-deciding triple. After that, only Peicai stood between us and the semi-finals. Unfortunately, we failed to go through to the next round. We lost, albeit narrowly, to Peicai.

===============
2006

The year The final year

We started off the SRC tournament with a walkover over Bedok Green. However, our trip to Kallang was not futile. The Hwa Chong Institution-with Coach Alex as their pitcher- played a friendly against us. We gained more from this friendly than we would have gained from the cancelled match, or so i thought.
The games against ACS and NorthVista were games of little arousement from the team. We managed to win these games but our performances were no where near satisfactory.
The deciding game came on Saturday, 5p.m. Against a team who had also won the rest of their games, Montfort. We started off well, with two runs from 3 hits w/o an out. We edged them in a nail-bitting encounter to reach the second and last round. A round robin with Peicai and RI.
RI had earlier lost to Peicai in another one run deciding game. We also lost to them by a similar margin. Unfortunately, this meant that we would not be champions in this SRC tournament. Neither would our team be able to play the All-star Team the following saturday.

~~The game against Ri for the second-third placing started off abruptly. I led off, without looking at one of the pitcher's pitch, but i didn't need to. I was given a walk.~~

Sorry, but i've just decided not to blog about that game too detailedly. I'm afraid I would lose control of what I'm typing.
We won 7-6 and clinched second place.

==================
We as a team have matured over the years. This year was not an exception. I particularly witnessed the maturing of the team-in bonding- over the tournament. The team spirit was there. Everyone supported each other and helped each other to get back to their feet. Everyone had a vision, a common vision which need not be put in words and recited daily. I am proud. We are proud of ourselves.
I'm sure all of us echo this view.

==================
One more month. And everything will end. The end of a beginning but definitely not the beginning of an end.
Go. Ponder.

- I apologise for the uninteresting and lengthy post-
I wonder how those who don't have any notion to what i'm talking about can read until here.

2006-03-15T17:50:00.000+08:00

http://www.quizyourfriends.com/yourquiz.php?quizname=060223083201-998028&/

http://kevan.org/nohari?name=phantomenace10

http://kevan.org/johari?name=phantomenace10

Try these. If you can spare the time.

2006-03-14T21:03:00.000+08:00

Coordination

Every single event in our lifes have to have some degree of coordination. Be it by an individual or a collective, it is essential for anything to happen fluently. For one to coordinate a group, one has to possess initiative and able to command respect. Needless to say, without compliance, the efforts put in to coordinating would go to waste.

Is it possible for a team to function without a leader? As a leader myself, I've pondered on this topic before. I took a long time to come out with how I contributed to the team as a leader. They were all intangible and vague. Yet, I know that I've given "something extra" to the team.

I'm straying from what I had intended to write. The juniors do not have a definite leader. They do not have a leader to take initiative and push the team to greater heights. They lack coordination. That - among many other reasons- is why they are not perfoming up to their expectations. I liked the term Mr Goh branded unto them. The Walking Eagles. The King of the Birds deciding to stay on land and not soar like those before them. The story of the Eagle who lived with the chicks came to my mind. The eaglet, which was raised by a hen, saw itself as one of the chicks who would eat worms and could only fly a few metres high. It never learnt to fly like how it should have. Never learnt how to use its razor-like claws and tapered beak. Never fulfiled its potential.
Hopefully, the story of the Walking Eagles - The eagles who never learnt to fly- would not occur. They would just have to reciprocrate his effort and try and imitate his passion.

==========

A dance with an individual performing perfect-pleasing to the eye- dance steps would somehow pale in comparision with a whole group performing a similar chereographed move. Similarly, if one person shaves but the rest doesn't, there is no point. But I didn't just shave in hope of everybody shaving together. I don't mind, but i know that for some it would hurt them. But please, consider this idea of the whole team shaving together. I won't press but I'll persuade. This is our/or at least mine and the sec 4's last year. Why not do something different. But don't be offended, if shaving really peeves you off, don't dwell on the matter just refuse my request. I'll try to understand.

Somehow, I sounded very solemn. I just think it would be cool if we all shaved together. That's my point if you didn't get it.

2006-03-10T22:39:00.000+08:00

Jack of all trades, master of none?
Or would you rather be a master of one, just one thing.

Would being proficient in all aspects of life be better than being able to master one skill?

From a sporting perspective, is the current world champion of the event "decathlon" more well-known than the 100m sprint or 110m hurdles olympic champions? Certainly not.
A decathlete requires all rounded athletic attributes, ranging from speed to strength. He requires the perfect balance of all the features of an athelte and needs the flexibility to be able to alter both physically and mentally for the 10 different events.
A sprinter can focus on a single event. He only requires one physical attributet - speed. He might be faster than a decathlete but he cannot win him in either of the throw or jumps events.

Then why is the athlete more renowned and considered more successful by most people compared to a decathlete? Simply because it is tough mastering a skill and personalising it to suit you. Using baseball as an analogy, why are designated hitters and pitchers better paid than a ball player who have minimal errors and a slightly above average batting average? They can do things that others have trouble doing - they don't just do it, they do it well- thus, their value to the team increases several folds.

It would be criminal to give an outright and firm decision on which of the two personae has the upperhand. In many areas in life, including sports, versatility is an all-important trait. A company would have no qualms employing a worker who is not specialised in a single job-scope but can do many different tasks well. On the contrary, a worker who is specialised in a single aspect and is weak in all other aspects might not be favoured over an average worker. For example, an employee with a First Class honours in Accounts but is terrible in English will not be favoured over a worker as although he can do the accounts alot faster than an average worker, he cannot communicate well with his colleagues, resulting in misunderstandings and effieciency reduced as a result. Further more, he will demand for a higher pay compared to an average worker.

Personally, I feel that one has to be competent in most areas but at the same time be specailized in one single area and make it your forte. Sitting on the fence. You might think. But, being a jack of all trades would make you only a little better than an average Joe while having master of one trade but lacking in everything else would make you devalued.

======================

So today, I received my CA1 results. 7A1's, 1 B4, and 1 E8. Average 78
No prize for guessing the E8 subject. As a result I have to complete 60 rounds before I can even contemplate about training or playing a softball match.

I don't want it to end earlier than the last possible day. But yet again, i seem to be looking foward to the end of it in secondary school and at the same time dread what will happen in my life without it.

2006-03-05T23:03:00.000+08:00

ALEX Ostrovsky, 16, got a huge surprise when he bought a Coldplay song from iTunes. It was the one billionth tune to be sold by the online store. So, Apple rewarded him with a 20-inch iMac, 10 fifth-generation iPods and a US$10000 iTunes gift card.

That'll be your interesting read of the day. Go ponder. You might have gotten it, if you hadn't downloaded songs for FREE at Kazaa/I-Mesh. Or maybe you should have done 50-50.

Neil Young
The Needle And The Damage Done
I caught you knockin' at my cellar door
I love you, baby, can I have some more
Ooh, ooh, the damage done.

I hit the city and I lost my band
I watched the needle take another man
Gone, gone, the damage done.

I sing the song because I love the man
I know that some of you don't understand
Milk-blood to keep from running out.

I've seen the needle and the damage done
A little part of it in everyone
But every junkie's like a settin' sun.

2006-03-01T21:37:00.000+08:00

Life still goes on no matter what, you still have to live life, so why not live it to the fullest?

But, I'm no where near living life to the fullest. I'm constantly lamenting what I lack or aren't good in. I should just stop this. I should stop emphasising I'm stressed and worked out, I should forget all about the stress and everything. I shall be more focused. No use worrying anyway.

1st of March, 2 full months of Secondary 4 life has ended. It has been an adjustment period, a rather tough one. Coming home after 8 and still have to do homework. When time is not sufficient, one has to wake up early to do work. That's secondary 4 life. At least for me.

We should not slate our teachers in front of other teachers. That's pure disrespect. Even if the teacher we are complaining to might not like the teacher we are slating, we would be putting he/she in a very difficult position, afterall, the teacher we are slating is his/her colleague after all. On the other hand, maybe teachers should be able to take opinion and suggestions with an open mind. I like Mr Leong in that aspect. He is realistic and pragmatic. And he takes opinions readily.

Oh. And there is a pair of kittens in the porch toilet. Should we get them out or leave them there? So what if we get them out? Will they survive anyway? And if we leave them there, will they die? I don't think so la. The mum will feed it. That's what it is supposed to be.
Life comes to earth, life goes. But it is how it comes and goes that is important.

Blame it. Blame the injury. But you know, I know, we all know that that isn't the problem. It is me. Me. And me. I sense it dropping.

2006-02-26T03:43:00.000+08:00

10 hours of sleep. You'll hardly be able to get that. Only on weekends, at the expense of your homework. 10 hours. From 5.30pm to 3.30 a.m.

As if I didn't feel bad enough for sleeping for such a long time, when I woke up, my shoulder stung in pain. Whatever the injury is, I just hope it'll recover by saturday. Oh well, I'll just continue to ice it then.

Today I'll be going for confirmation, one of the church sacraments. For many of us, the most significant thing about it is that after confirmation, we do not have to go for sunday class anymore. But for me, I want to continue to participate in one of the church ministries, just that I don't know which one to join. Maybe I'll draw lots. Lol.

Thanks for all those who read this far even though they have no inkling about what I was saying.

I'll better go and do homework. Yeah, at 4 a.m. That's cool. I'll try to finish a composition before my parents wake up.

It's difficult yeah? I once lost the passion too, when I was having a bad patch. I trust you'll come to realise that it has always been there, just that you may not feel it that strongly at the present moment.

2006-02-22T22:22:00.000+08:00

Softball

It is the last season of my secondary school softball programme. But unfortunately, I would not be able to get the South Zone's Champions. But, it does not matter. The more prestigious and competitive Nationals is the one every school(worth mentioning) aims for. The tougher the fight, the slimmer the chance no doubt. But it also means the greater the joy of victory . But alas, we must not be blinded by the lust for success. We will strive on. But whether we get the National Champs this year, it will be a successful 4 years in Catholic High Softball for me. And even if we don't get the Champs. L.G.O

We have played 3 matches so far.
RI, 17-6 Win
ACS(I) 6-7 Lost
Yuying 13-8 Win

Next two matches coming up
FTP - 24/02/2006
Peicai - 04/03/2006

I've come to the last year in Catholic High. I've realised there are so many things i haven't done. I'm going to do one of them now. Run competitive in Cross Country. Hope there will be no repurcussions for the match the next day. There shouldn't be la.

2006-02-16T20:55:00.000+08:00

It has been done. I've dropped Higher Chinese for the O level.

Stop brooding over it. Made the decision? Stick to it. Do not regret over the decision. One regret is enough. Don't let a regret lead to another regret.

~~Can't find a word to what i'm feeling. It's not bored. Not miserable. Definitely negative, but I can't find the word. Oh never mind.~~

The teachers aren't really happy. Neither are the students. With regard to this matter, I'm glad that this is my last year in Catholic High. It has been a great time in Catholic High. But recently my passion for the school has been wavering. Fortunately, I still have softball. Let's just not think so much about what willl happen after May. It gives me the shudders.

Will starting in May be too late? I hope not.

Why am I beginning to be so negative??

2006-02-15T19:45:00.000+08:00

Should i drop higher chinese? I still don't know.
3 scenarios.

First Scenerio :Dropped Higher Chinese
Next year at feburary. Did well for "o" levels. Shit. I say to myself. Should have taken Higher Chinese. I know i can cope. After all, i don't really study much for it what. This year still need to take chinese in JC. Waste time la.

Second Scenerio: Continued With HCL
YAY. I passed. Yes, i'm just hoping for a pass. I can minus two points. AND i don't need to take chinese in JC!!!

Third Scenerio: Continued with HCL
SHIT. I failed higher chinese. Didn't minus two points. Still need to take Chinese in JC. I was dumb not to drop...

Dang. And i only have until tomorrow to make the decision. Even if i decide to continue with HCL. Will the teachers allow me too? I don't know... I frankly don't.

For you 05

2006-02-11T18:14:00.000+08:00

I'll stop whining and being an idiot. Getting a B3 for my 'o' level chinese result is what i deserved to get. Yes, i could have done better, at least i have another chance.
Hope can do wonders, it can make what you want to happen really happen. But yesterday, hope brought me up to false confidence, and when the truth came, it brought me down immediately with a crucial blow, I couldn't take it. Of course it did not help that a friend came to me and lamented over his A2. But still, i maintain it was my result that caused my excrutiating blow. He could be more sensitive, no doubt.

So yesterday, tears were shed i admit. But, i'll pick myself up again. No use crying over split milk. If i am given another chance to remain in higher chinese, i will. Due to the fact that I would not need to take chinese in JC. And i can use it to minus 2 points. At first i thought i'd not be able to study after getting the results. Fortunately a few classmates also talked to me. They helped me get back to my feet. Don't know if they know they did. But thanks. They helped.

On a brighter note, there was softball training today. Mr Goh also knew about my result, don't know how he knows, but i guess he knows quite alot of things. He sort of encouraged me. Thanks. Todays training was solely for pitch batting. My stick wasn't quite there today. I better get myself back up. I admit I was thinking alot about yesterday's result. Especially during warm-up, I heard what another teammate said about my results =(
Nvm.

Next week, i have 3 softball matches and a week of common test. The tests are languages, maths, and sciences. Not to be xia lan but i don't really need to study much for them. I'll just read through abit. I'll probably still ace it. Life's unfair eh?

Thanks. For pushing the knife further in to my heart, i might not show it. But i'm preettyy hurt by your comments. I didn't know you could do these things.

-edit-

thanks for the friends who helped me come back to my feet. you might not have said much. a word or two of consolling, but you helped alot. thanks shaun,yh,ben neo and ben tay, nicholas and jing. and the rest who helped too.

2006-02-09T20:57:00.000+08:00

bottled up.

Life goes on. Yes not too well for some but still goes on.